Writing good headlines for sales letters

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by NICKY Nitro, Jul 2, 2008.

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Which works for a sales copy short and snappy headlines or storytelling headlines?

  1. short and snappy headlines

    8 vote(s)
    50.0%
  2. storytelling headlines

    8 vote(s)
    50.0%
  1. #1
    In order to have a headline that will grab the reader by the throat you should ask yourself the following questions:

    What will your product help the customer do (the general benefit)?
    my product helps the customer to...
    start an internet company, loose weight, earn a degree, make more money, save more money, etc.

    How quickly can you help the customer accomplish this goal?
    include the # and the time frame:
    3 minute solution to...,...in less than 24 hours,...in just 30 days, etc.)

    What are the expected results of reaching this goal?
    include a specific amount (use $ if needed) and the type (save, make,lose)
    ...and save $2,000, and make $15,184 in 30 days, you can loose 15 pounds in...,etc.

    How many steps or tips are you giving your customer to help them?
    include the # and type (steps, ways, secrets, etc.)
    Learn...with these simple 5 proven steps, 66 ways to..., Discover the 12 secrets of..., 15 special tips to...etc.
     
    NICKY Nitro, Jul 2, 2008 IP
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  2. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #2
    Formulaically constructed headlines are not always good.

    They may work in a few cases, but I prefer more dynamic, creative and attractive headlines.

    Which sounds better .......

    "12 steps to lose 50% of your weight in 20 days"

    "Be slim healthy and happy without having to empty your wallet"
     
    lightless, Jul 2, 2008 IP
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  3. Live2Write

    Live2Write Active Member

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    #3
    Not to dispute with you lightless, but a dynamic header can be written with even numbers included.

    "12 Tricks to Lose Belly Fat Without Being Harsh On Your Wallet"

    Would attract more readers than...

    "Be slim healthy and happy without having to empty your wallet"
     
    Live2Write, Jul 2, 2008 IP
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  4. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #4
    You're right. I was talking about "completely/semi-completely" depending on formulae and giving a rest to your creative brain.
     
    lightless, Jul 3, 2008 IP
  5. NICKY Nitro

    NICKY Nitro Well-Known Member

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    #5
    Exactly! By asking yourself these 4 key questions you could come up with headlines like this one "12 Tricks to Lose Belly Fat Without Being Harsh On Your Wallet"

    I am not saying the other headline is bad it's just that numbers and words like tips and tricks have better success. And what do we call a good headline? A headline that is known to work.

    The headline is the most important part of any ad or sales letter. If you have a bad headline your ad is not going to do well or your sales letter won't be that effective.

    Creating different headlines by using these 4 very important questions will help you to test different approaches and even increase your conversions and sales.

    If your headline stinks so will your bottom line!
     
    NICKY Nitro, Jul 3, 2008 IP
  6. Live2Write

    Live2Write Active Member

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    #6
    Yes headline should be pulling ...and if you write a winner of a header the objective of writing an article in the first place is met.

    For instance,
    “6 Simple ways to kill your depression…” it invites the reader with a feeling … ‘Ahh! in just 6 ways?...I have been trying harder, why not read this'...and then he reads!
     
    Live2Write, Jul 3, 2008 IP
  7. NICKY Nitro

    NICKY Nitro Well-Known Member

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    #7
    Good headline but I would develop it a little bit if you allow me.

    "How a person who has committed three suicide attempts enjoys life like never before by applying 6 simple ways to kill depression"

    Now that is a headline. You got the curiosity trigger, you got a story in the headline that has to be developed later on and you got all the other elements.
     
    NICKY Nitro, Jul 3, 2008 IP
  8. shuttle

    shuttle Active Member

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    #8
    It is interesting to say that these questions should not be used for writing headlines only. Every business owner should ask himself these type of questions.

    They are in a way helping you build the fundamentals of your business. Nice work, turbulence!
     
    shuttle, Jul 4, 2008 IP
  9. NICKY Nitro

    NICKY Nitro Well-Known Member

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    #9
    Thanks shuttle. I think that the most important thing is to twist the way you write the headlines. The thing is you want the readers to get a teasing glimpse of a particular benefit. You have to make them want to read the whole text with just a single line of text - the headline.
     
    NICKY Nitro, Jul 7, 2008 IP
  10. shuttle

    shuttle Active Member

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    #10
    Vin Montello has this report Seven story secrets which is a must read. It has pretty much everything explained like headlines and all that.
     
    shuttle, Jul 8, 2008 IP
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  11. healthdirectorymoz

    healthdirectorymoz Peon

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    #11
    this is certainly the most useful thread i read today on DP.
    Great tips guys!
     
    healthdirectorymoz, Jul 8, 2008 IP
  12. Josh_Smith

    Josh_Smith Peon

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    #12
    Honestly turbulence, I find that to be an overly wordy and "bad" headline. It's not succint. I'm bored before I'm even finished reading it. A good headline is short and snappy.

    What you've got there is a good synopsis of what the story is about. It's useful to you as a writer for developing the story, but as a reader? It's far too long. It conveys your message sure, but through more words than I really care to read when I see it next to 10 other headlines in my RSS feeds.

    Headlines are about distilling your entire article into one very quick line. They're about grabbing the reader's interest and dragging them face first into your story. You've got to be quick, witty, and authoritative.

    Live2Write gave a very good example in terms of catching my interest. The use of the word "kill" is strong in conjunction with depression. The numbered list reduces my laziness because I know it'll be easy to skim, the fact that it's only 6 points tells me that if I've had trouble in the past maybe I can follow this, and the word simple tells me that it should be easy it won't require a huge amount of thought on my part.

    All of that came about from one small headline. You should always ask yourself: "How can I make this shorter?" and "Are there any wasted words?".

    This is assuming the true form of headline is being used, rather than the "Lets write a Clickbank Sales Page!" form of headline in which your users are pushed to the site by an AdWords ad, likely with a different headline as well.

    Finally: Don't lie in your headlines. This is heavily done in clickbank marketing I know, but it'll eventually bite you in the ass if someone catches you through a lawsuit. If these tips haven't been endorsed by someone who's had three suicide attempts, don't put it in the headline. You're at best being incredibly dishonest when your advice may honestly do more harm than good, and you could be going so far as to make yourself liable for false claims if things ever got to that point.
     
    Josh_Smith, Jul 8, 2008 IP
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  13. NICKY Nitro

    NICKY Nitro Well-Known Member

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    #13
    I beg to differ. Short and snappy headlines are not always the best choice when it comes to sales letters. In fact, it all depends on the number of benefits you want to focus on.

    That is exactly the effect I was looking for in the first place. It is not what I or you care about it is what the reader cares about. Like I said before, good headlines are not the ones that we think are good but the ones that are known to have made sales and conversions. The ones that have been tested.

    The example I gave has it all. The curiosity trigger and all that.

    I do like Live2Write's example I just developed the idea a little bit.

    When you sell products you want to be as descriptive as possible.

    Like I said, I just wanted to develop the headline. I never said that people should make up stories or something. This headline was meant to be an example. I just want to help people get more sales with their sales letters. This technique will increase their conversions with at least 20-30%

    I would be more than happy to hear from people who have used it and succeeded.
     
    NICKY Nitro, Jul 9, 2008 IP
  14. shuttle

    shuttle Active Member

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    #14
    I see that we have two groups here. The supporters of short and snappy headlines and the supporters of story-telling headlines.

    This calls for a poll I guess...
     
    shuttle, Jul 10, 2008 IP
  15. NICKY Nitro

    NICKY Nitro Well-Known Member

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    #15
    There you go! We now have a poll, feel free to vote.
     
    NICKY Nitro, Jul 10, 2008 IP
  16. flanger747

    flanger747 Peon

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    #16
    yes :D sounds like an auction now :D
     
    flanger747, Jul 10, 2008 IP
  17. InFlames

    InFlames Peon

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    #17
    An excellent thread ! Thanks to you all, am not really a copywriter but we all need good headlines or titles for our content pages and the tips given here are highly valuable for me.

    @Shuttle, thanks for the link to the Vin Montello report, I was able to write 3 stories super fast for products I want to promote, and it seemed easy to do. I will now see the results of my "efforts". Thanks.

    Have a nice day.
     
    InFlames, Jul 12, 2008 IP
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  18. shuttle

    shuttle Active Member

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    #18
    I'm glad you liked the report. It has helped me a ton. Keep us updated on your progress.
     
    shuttle, Jul 14, 2008 IP
  19. viqifrench

    viqifrench Peon

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    #19
    I think the "answer" is really somewhere between the two.

    Long, wordy headlines can easily lose a reader. If your "story" takes too long to get the point, it doesn't work.

    On the other hand, those formula-based headlines are seen everywhere and easy to dismiss as being too sales-pitchy. When I read those, I wish for a more personal approach.

    The best way to write a strong headline is to generate a list of may 10 or 15, then show them to a few friends to help pick a winner.
     
    viqifrench, Jul 16, 2008 IP
  20. sortie

    sortie Peon

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    #20
    It kinda depends on the audience. If i'm a newbie to a certain market, a short snappy headline will do just fine. However, experienced and advanced users in a market will need a more interesting headline that attracts their curiousity. In that case, a storytelling headline would be better.
     
    sortie, Jul 18, 2008 IP