Win A Domain for Being Creative... Your Best One Liners ;)

Here is mine - "Going off like a frog in a sock" Thanks

 

"Why is abbreviation such a long word?"

"We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?"

"What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?"

"To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. " lol

"How do you keep a reader in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too..."

"Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus."

"On the other hand, you have different fingers"

"Humpty Dumpty was pushed!"

"The more people I meet, the more I like my dog."

"I can handle pain until it hurts."

"The word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary. " --check it out

"What's another word for Thesaurus?"

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

"We are all part of the ultimate statistic that Ten out of Ten die." lol

 

There are no victims in this world; only those who are willing to be victimized.

 

"Being a nurse isn't easy, it takes a lot of patients." lol

 

If you die in an elevator, don't forget to push the "up" button

 

A good one from Rodney Dangerfield I've always liked goes,
"You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth."

 

And one I like is,
"Hold your breath and count to a million." -original.

 

"If I were traveling at the speed of light, and I turned my headlights on, would they do anything?"
"If I could melt dry ice, could I swim without getting wet?"

 

"Indecision is the key to flexibility."
"There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation. "
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. "
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. "
"Hard work has a future payoff. - Laziness pays off now."

 

"It seems like common sense is not a common thing.." orig - ive just thought about it.. what do you think?

 

Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Accordingly a genius is often merely a talented person who has done all of his or her homework. - Thomas Edison

The successful person makes a habit of doing what the failing person doesn't like to do. - Thomas Edison

To be successful you have to enjoy doing your best while at the same time contributing to something beyond yourself. - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

The winner is the chef who takes the same ingredients as everyone else and produces the best results. - Edward de Bono

 

"Your one in a million!, that means there are 1000s of people in China just like you!"

 

An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex - aldous huxley

 

"I got tired of following my dreams...I just ask them where they are going and hook said I'd hook up with'em later"

"When a chick tells you 'Your Mean' she really means that your average". (Think of math related terms lol).

"Warez....the next best free thing after sex"

 

Borrow money from a pessimist, they never expect it back.

 

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.

Few women admit their age; few men act it.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

I can handle pain until it hurts.

Nobody's perfect. I'm a nobody.

 

We can't die because we never born

 

Ah, excellent. I'll pick one on,,, Thursday, I think. Good luck everyone!

 

my greatness cannot be expressed in a text editor , it requires a compiler
hows that

 

"We don't have a ctrl key on our keyboards - we are ALWAYS in control."