'Wifeology' • My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield • A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. -Milton Berle • I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "Therewas water in the carburetor." I asked her , "Where's the car?" She replied,"In the lake." -Henny Youngman • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman • after a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." • When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. • I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to Interrupt her. • My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends. • A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did. • Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished. • A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." • Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son. • Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late. • A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same : "You can have mine." • A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied, • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. • It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. • Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible –Henny Youngman • Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life Thinking they had no faults at all. • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. • The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. • First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive. ----------------------------------------------------------