Which content is written the best?

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by Dynamikemagic, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. #1
    I am searching for the content to place on my homepage. Which of the 6 homepage content do you think will make more of a sell by beeing eye catching and more convincing? If you can, list the order of all 6 from best to least. I took out the city and county names by replacing them with XXX. Thanks.

    Number 1

    Looking for a professional XXX County Magician to entertain guests at your next event? Then look no further than Dynamike who has been specializing in performing comedy magic acts in XXX for more than 30 years.

    Kids Love Dynamike and His Exciting Comedy Magic Acts

    Also known as The Magician of XXX County, Dynamike loves to see children’s faces light up as he performs his comedy magic acts. Each show is guaranteed to be age-appropriate to ensure all magic acts and jokes are fun and engaging for the children. You can schedule Dynamike, The Magician of XXX, to entertain your children at:

     Birthday Parties
     Communion Parties
     Holiday Parties
     Graduations
     Summer Camp


    Dynamike Also Entertains at “Adult-Only” Events

    Need to entertain an event or gathering attended by adults? Dynamike also provides “Adult-Only” stand-up and interactive illusions that are guaranteed to make your next event in XXX County a complete success! Every show is customized to suit your exact needs and guaranteed to entertain your guests or your money back!

    So whether you are looking for a XXX County Magician to entertain children or adults, look no further than Dynamike!

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    Number 2

    Are you hosting an event in XXX and need some exciting entertainment? How about a magician? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Dynamike, “The XXX Magician” has been providing electrifying entertainment for all audiences - young and old alike - throughout XXX for over 30 years.

    Dynamike enchants children and adults at all types of parties and venues including:

    Birthday parties
    Communion parties
    Holiday parties
    Family gatherings
    Graduations
    Summer camps
    And much, much more

    The XXX Magician, Dynamike, has the ability to combine comedy with magic to put a sparkle in the children’s eyes as they watch his amazing act. He also has a way of interacting with the children so they understand what he is trying to express – he is truly a kid specialist magician.

    However, if you are specifically looking for an evening filled with adults only, Dynamike can provide the magical entertainment you desire as well. “The XXX Magician” combines stand-up along with walk-around illusions to keep you guessing - this show is geared specifically for an older audience.

    No matter the occasion – business meeting or commercial activity, Dynamike custom designs his performances to meet your needs. Your XXX event is honored by Dynamike’s 100% satisfaction, money back guarantee – he knows you will be mystified.

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    Number 3

    Want a professional magician for your next event in XXX County? Dynamike has been bringing fun and entertainment to the community for over 30 years! Watch as Dynamike amazes everyone in your group with his magical talents and unique sense of humor. There’s a reason why he’s XXX County’s number one magician.

    Got a little one with a birthday? Give Dynamike a call! He’s ideal for all kinds of events including, holiday parties, graduations, communion parties, family gatherings, summer camps, and anything else you can think of. Day care centers love Dynamike because he knows how to fine tune and tailor his message to any audience he performs in front of. He’s a phenomenal showman and a true kid at heart.

    But you don’t have to be young to enjoy Dynamike’s professional magic show. If you’ve got a group of adults, Dynamike can transform an ordinary occasion into something XXX County has never seen before. He’s the perfect fit for meetings and corporate trainings. Whatever your message, Dynamike will make sure his performance delivers.

    Dynamike offers a full money back guarantee on all of his shows. If your XXX County group is not 100% satisfied, you will get your full money back.

    So if you are looking for a magician in XXX County, give Dynamike a call today.

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    Number 4

    Are you looking to have a professional magician at your event in XXX? Well Dynamike the Magician is your answer. Dynamike has experience entertaining as a magician in XXX and other surrounding XXX cities since he was twelve years old. Dynamike does have skills for performing for crowds of all ages from kids to adults.

    It does not matter if the event is for a child’s birthday, company picnic, communion party, school assembly, wedding reception, family reunion, or holiday party, Dynamike will perform for all type of events from crowds of a few to large. He does guarantee his magic shows for being your XXX Magician with a money back approval.

    Dynamike will supply you with different packages you can choose from as your magician in XXX. You can call to book his services any time today by dialing XXX.

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    Number 5

    Looking for a magician in XXX? Well Dynamike can be your XXX Magician. Dynamike the Magician does perform in XXX and other surrounding XXX cities. He has been performing magic tricks ever since he was a kid. Dynamike will help make your event memorable by astonishing your guest of all ages.

    Dynamike does performs at all type of events from a child’s birthday, company picnic, communion party, school assembly, wedding reception, family reunion, or holiday party, Dynamike will perform for all type of events from crowds of a few to large. Entertainment is the key to why you should have Dynamike as your XXX Magician.

    Feel free to call us anytime, 24/7 to ask us any questions about the magic show packages Dynamike have to offer you. We will be most happy to support you with your event in XXX. Don’t delay, call today. 

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    Number 6

    Are you looking for a professional magician for your event in XXX County? Well Dynamike is your answer. Dynamike “The Magician of XXX County” performs for all ages from young to old. He has been entertaining audiences throughout Southeastern Michigan for over 30 years.

    Dynamike entertains children at birthday parties, communion parties, holiday parties, family gatherings, graduations, summer camps, etc. Kids get excited when they watch Dynamike’s comedy magic acts. He knows how to influence himself towards day care centers so the children will understand what he expresses. Dynamike is a Kid Specialist.

    Are you looking forward to have an event of all adults? Dynamike performs stand-up and walk-around illusions in that type of environment too. No matter if your occasion is a type of meeting or commercial activity, Dynamike always custom tailors his routines to fit your needs.

    Your XXX County group will be entertained by a magician that will be backed by a total satisfaction, money back guarantee.
     
    Dynamikemagic, Dec 21, 2011 IP
  2. sreelavanya

    sreelavanya Peon

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    #2
    No. 4,5,3,1,2, then 6. Although all carry the same message someone in a hurry will have to look at no. 4 because it appears to be short and precise. Even though check out for grammatical and spelling errors in all.
     
    sreelavanya, Dec 25, 2011 IP
  3. domainnamesalez

    domainnamesalez Peon

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    #3
    I liked #3. Simple, and conveys the message to the point.
     
    domainnamesalez, Dec 25, 2011 IP
  4. Dynamikemagic

    Dynamikemagic Active Member

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    #4
    Thanks guys.
     
    Dynamikemagic, Dec 26, 2011 IP
  5. sophia911

    sophia911 Peon

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    #5
    Number 3 is good .
    I like it .
     
    sophia911, Dec 27, 2011 IP
  6. contentboss

    contentboss Peon

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    #6
    Number 1 is tricky because it starts off with childrens parties then goes on to 'adults only'. You can't mix the two in a promo.
     
    contentboss, Dec 27, 2011 IP
  7. jerrymaestro

    jerrymaestro Greenhorn

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    #7
    Number 3 and 5
     
    jerrymaestro, Dec 27, 2011 IP
  8. jame smith

    jame smith Peon

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    #8
    Number 3 is good
     
    jame smith, Dec 28, 2011 IP
  9. msjohal

    msjohal Peon

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    #9
    I like number 3 also, but I think you are trying to target two different markets with the same copy which is tricky.

    My suggestion would be to have two different landing pages based on if they are searching for adult events or children events and modify the copy accordingly.

    I believe this will give you a higher conversion rate.
     
    msjohal, Dec 29, 2011 IP
  10. UK_writer

    UK_writer Peon

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    #10
    I agree, number three is the best, but it still needs work. Number five is far, far too spammy. It's not all about keyword density these days.
     
    UK_writer, Dec 29, 2011 IP
  11. Nishaseo

    Nishaseo Guest

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    #11
    No.3 is better. Could you let me know that most targeted products or services of yours? Then, I can suggest you better.
     
    Nishaseo, Jan 1, 2012 IP
  12. Dynamikemagic

    Dynamikemagic Active Member

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    #12
    Children's party magician in local area.
     
    Dynamikemagic, Jan 3, 2012 IP
  13. tjcreation

    tjcreation Peon

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    #13
    I like both #3 and #6 because they have the location in the first sentence. People don't like having to search for whether or not something is appropriate for their needs and #3 and #6 tell them right up front if it will work for them.
     
    tjcreation, Jan 3, 2012 IP
  14. Web Outsourcing Gateway

    Web Outsourcing Gateway Member

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    #14
    I like number 5 because it is shorter and it has "call to action" statement (...don't delay, call today), which is very important for a marketing-purpose copy. You may also put this line in Number 5 "If your XXX County group is not 100% satisfied, you will get your full money back" (coming from number 3). Through this you are taking the risk/s and burden away from your target market.
     
    Web Outsourcing Gateway, Jan 18, 2012 IP
  15. Sam Gilmore

    Sam Gilmore Peon

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    #15
    Numper three is the most appropriate variant, I think!
     
    Sam Gilmore, Jan 19, 2012 IP