The best joke I have heard lately is: Pam Anderson and The Queen were standing at the gates of heaven (not the joke.) St. Peter looks at the two of them and says, "I am sorry but I can only allow one of you in. Each of you give one reason I should let you in vs. the other." Pam goes first by opening her shirt and saying, "These are the most perfect of all of Gods creations and he should want to see them every day." Peter nods then looks to The Queen who then goes to the toilet and pulls the handle. As Peter opens the gates for The Queen he says, "Sorry Pam, a royal flush always beats a pair."
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fu**ing-believable!"