I think what confuses people is we treat love as a noun (which it is) i.e. love is blah blah. But if we treated it as a verb (action - which it is) then we would have Loving. Then the question is what is Loving? Now, that directs people to focus on the act of love. Holding hands etc. I could have saved poets, writers an awful lot of pain to this question!
You Know It's Love When All You Want Is That Person to be Happy, Even if You're Not Part of Their Happiness.