Watching Judge Judy - Crime to spank children?

i agree w/ you both logic and earthfraze

 

Earth, I appreciate your perspective, but I don't think that's quite a good comparison to use, because one is punishment necessarily for wrongdoing, the other edification, necessarily for a strictly positive purpose.

A marathoner enduring the Wall, my students enduring 10,000 sword cuts on a January morning, outdoors - these are self-induced challenges to achieve breakthroughs - a challenge they sought, and conquered; on a far gentler scale, kids enduring their challenges in sports or martial training are achieving self-mastery, something I would say is precisely the opposite of violence put upon them by another; a necessarily punitive thing, and a thing where self-mastery is necessarily completely out of the picture. My perspective, anyway.

 

When my son entered the Marine Corps he laughed at the guys that were frightened of the drill instructors. He'd grown up where discipline was an understood part of the equation, respecting those in authority was normal, and accepting responsibility was standard protocol. He was prepared for *real* life when he got there and found no problem dealing with it. He's a father now himself, and he loves his daughter just as he knows his dad loved him.

Suggesting parents that swat a little one on the rear in an appropriate disciplinary context and not in anger are submitting them to "violence" is an overblown idiom of political correctness. There's a difference between simple discipline and "beatings". As a general rule if a small one was popped on the rear a few times by 5 there is decreased likelihood they'll fail to respect the parent as an authority figure after that point, and parents need not be afraid to actually establish themself as the parent. Part of the job.

Those that superimpose their own belief that this is evil based on a poor frame of reference of having possibly seen it done wrong forget that the existence of bad examples doesnt disprove anything. If we use worst case examples as if they were the norm we'd have to outlaw all alcohol, cars, airplanes, firearms, knives, etc. I can cite great harm done each, but it doesn't make them "bad", just means they need to be used correctly.

 

I am not a parent (one of the few on the planet that figured out how birth control works), but I would not rule out spanking as a form of punishment.

I have had experiences where my parents spanked me for good reason, and then I had my grandma whom I believe was physically abusive.

When my parents spanked me, I deserved it. I remember thinking "I deserved that because I was acting like an asshole". I thank my parents daily for putting fear in me because it kept me in school with awesome grades, made me do my homework and chores, and kept me from committing crimes or doing heavy drugs, or getting pregnant before finishing school. Spanking helped instill such solid lines for me between right and wrong, that it is still with me today. I go to work everyday, on time, and stay the full 8 hours while everyone else tries to buck the system. And all I can think in my head is how disappointed my parents would be if I "stole" from my employer by pretending to be off on sales calls or tech calls while sitting at home playing video games. Spanking worked and did its job.

My grandma, on the other hand, was physically abusive to her children and grandchildren and the effects are still seen today. When you beat the crap out of someone for no reason, or not an adequate one, will do nothing but relieve the frustrations of the parent and not teach the child anything. My grandma would regularly beat her kids, for no reason, so she could rule by pure fear and intimidation. She would hit them before they did anything wrong.

I remember when I was about 13 or 14 and my grandma woke me early in the morning one summer day and slapped me around a bit so I would get ready in 5 minutes so she wouldn't be late for the old geezer gathering at the local Dunkin' Doughnuts. She didn't want to have to wait for a self-conscious teenager to pick out an outfit and style her hair.

My parents used spanking as a form of punishment/learning and my grandma used it as a fear and intimidation tool. Big difference in my opinion. And I'll tell you one thing: now that I'm an adult, I completely thank and respect my parents while I hold absolutely NO respect for my grandmother......

 

ROFL. Congrats. I hear if used correctly common Aspirin works... you just hold the tablet between your knees.

 

When we were kids my aunt would tell my mom that she was "warping out little personalities" by spanking us. And by spanking, I mean a swat on the butt to get a point across - no belts, no switches, never more than a single swat and Never anywhere but on the butt. Years later, that same aunt told my mom she wished she HAD warped her kids personalities a bit (drug problems, truancy blah blah blah).

Another example, My friends son was a little beast when he was a toddler, his family would "reason" with him, threaten him (his aunt once threatened to lock him in a trunk) but they NEVER spanked him (even though they threatened to). He learned fast with me that what I said I did - he slapped my leg one time because I wouldn't let him climb on the furniture, so I warned him and when he did it again I slapped his hand. He NEVER gave me problems after that - his own family couldn't control him but he would listen to me. I never hit him except for that one time on the hand but he knew I meant business.