I think you left out key parts of the story. I am sure you were a tool like most 17 year olds are, with little respect or understanding for your parents. Clearly your dad was mad about something you omitted from the story. Was it right of him to do that? Probably not, but you probably frustrated the crap out of him. You will regret doing anything about this. Take it as a lesson learned and learn to have more respect for your family, their house and what they do for you. Anything else, and as others mentioned you will regret it.
"Anyway, for some reason my dad flips out on me" So you still don't know why he did that? Or you don't want us to know? I don't say that what your dad did was right, but I am sure he has a different story than what you have told here or on your blog. He doesn't go breaking others property, does he? Say whatever you want to say, but I am sure that your dad's lawyers will have a different story for you. Sorry for your loss, But don't hurt yourself by taking this further. There are better ways of settling this.
I can't believe you are making those accusations without knowing the full story. Certainly beating someone's car with a sledgehammer is not a nice thing to do, and not normally rational but 17 year old kids can be monumental pains in the arse. The fact that his dad gave him several $100 dollars to fix up his car says something. For all we know he was not doing what he said he was going to do over and over again. You make this blanket assumptions to condemn the father without the facts. I can think of countless scenarios where the father's actions might not be justified but understandable. That is horrible family-ruining advice.
Haha! Your post made me laugh! Teenagers. Emo's or goth's or skaters or ...? Geeze! Don't ever get that wrong! Call them the wrong thing and it's an exercise in door slamming ... or you have to go hunt them down at night because they're 'staying with friends who appreciate them for what they are'. I know what you mean about the blood boiling on purpose thing, too. I think they have a blood-temperature-of-dad-gauge built into them. "Ah yes, 93.8 degrees C," time to leave him to simmer for a few hours ... lol! Back to sholiz - look, dude, everyone here who has kids knows there is more to this than you are letting on. For example, with a bit of prompting we have now established that your dad was in fact cleaning up 3 weeks worth of your mess in the garage. You've also said your dad can 'fix anything'. That tells me your dad most likely kept his stuff (tools, etc.) in a relatively ordered manner in the garage. '3 weeks worth of mess' tells me you had his stuff scattered everywhere, not to mention a load of bits and general mess and like most teenagers, had left it at your backside. You said I had made so many assumptions. Not really. I made one. That you muttered under your breath the word, 'asshole'. Maybe you didn't? Maybe you said to your friend, 'lets go', and your dad thought he had heard you calling him an 'asshole'? Anyhoo, my advice on the legal stuff is to bite the bullet and leave it be. The car cost you $100. That's it. Your entire loss was $100. Forget this 'estimated' or 'appraised' crap. The bottom line is what it cost you. If you start legal proceedings in small claims you are going to open up a family rift that may never heal. From what I can gather, this whole incident is completely out of character for your dad. There isn't another person in the world who would run in front of a bus to save you. Shame to throw all that away for $100.
I hope you work this out. You only get one set of parnets and they will be apart of your life for a long time.
What do you think would justify a father verbally abusing his son and going ape shit on his car? So the kid didn't clean up the garage and his dad doesn't feel like he gets any respect. You have to earn respect, even from your kids, and blowing up and being an asshole isn't the way to do it nor is giving him a couple hundred bucks to fix his car.
mcFox, I understand where you are coming from, but normal households do not have fathers smashing vehicles with sledge hammers and metal pipes. Your setting an example for your 17 year old son so you smash his car with a sledge hammer and metal pipe? Give me a break - what the hell kind of house are you running? His actions were unacceptable. Whatever did happen between the two should have never caused the father to loose his temper to the extreme in which he did. Instead of sueing your father for the price of the car - pay for him to go to a psychologist.
Hahaha! How little you know! At no point during parenthood do you develop a 'saint button'. You are still the flawed character you were before you had children. No-one said the father's actions were acceptable, only that his reaction could be seen as understandable given the circumstances. The OP asked for advice. My advice was not to sue his father but to just let it go. I explained why. As to what kind of house am I running? The best one I know how.
I agree that the father's actions were unacceptable. Regardless of how much you can understand his position (even though you don't know the facts), there is absolutely no excuse for a person to blow up and act like this. Sure, many of us have been in a situation where we've just gotten angry and took it out on something or someone, that doesn't make it right. And if this dad wants to instill values of responsibility into his son, he needs to man up and be responsible for his actions in turn. If I'm at work and someone pisses me off, I don't go around smashing stuff. Just because it's in his house, doesn't make it any better, because it wasn't his property. Even if it was his property, it still wouldn't be right, because his wife owns half of it. The fact is you can't preach to your kids about being responsible and then completely ignore everything you tell them throughout your own life. As for the emanicipation thing, I wouldn't bother hiring an attorney for family court. The judge isn't going to care if you have some guy in a suit on your behalf, all they care about is finding out the circumstances involved and no one is better equipped to discuss those than you. In the matter of the car... It doesn't matter if you have $3000 in damages or not, no judge is going to award you anywhere near that. In most likelihood, they will only award you what you can prove you paid for the car and any parts that you put into it. They may give you the blue book value, but factoring in that you were able to purchase the car for $100, it probably isn't high. The court systems are not setup to reward you for being a victim (unless its for pain and suffering), they are there to ensure that you get the value of the item, no more, no less. If you go into court asking for 3x the value, the judge may think you're just trying to pull a fast one to make some quick money and it will hurt your case. So consider how much money total you've put into the car (and have receipts for) and then decide if it's worth the hassle. If all you really care about is getting out of the house, then just file for emancipation and put it all behind you. Theres no point prolonging the troubles for the $100+ you'll get from filing suit for the car. But like others have said, I wouldn't let this ruin your relationship with your father. Get on your own, give it some time, and then if you feel the desire to try again with your dad, go for it. I think a lot of people in this thread also aren't aware that there are some people out there who are just complete assholes and are abusive. There are parents who just really don't care about their kids and they put them through Hell. I'm not making any judgements as to this case, but they do exist, so by making assumptions without the facts, your just drawing on your own experiences, which may be completely different from other peoples...
Where did you get that from? I owed all my cars from 15 years old and on. my son owed his first car until he smashed it into the back of another (cell phones should be illegal for teens to drive with (or anyone for that matter))
buy your father one of those plastic kiddie bats........looks like how he acted any way. that's one expensive tantrum
while his actions were not appropriate for a parent, perhaps he went over the edge due to the following: he loaned you money to fix your car due to your job situation. he didn't have to do this. that morning there was conversation about you paying him back, or 'barking' at you as you said. You said you 'would have (paid him), too', but didn't that day. Nonetheless, he was letting you know that it was a loan and not a gift. later that day, he walks out in the garage and sees you and a friend hooking up a new CD player (the box was in one of the pics). The possible observation is that you weren't making an effort to pay him back. It wasn't due to you not having the money, since you are paying other bills and purchasing items for your car before paying off your previous debts. Just an idea..
That morning when I said it he said "Not to worry". To the "17 year olds can't own a car" ... Cash, Michigan just requires both parties (seller, and buyer) to sign the title, go to Secretary of State, file a title change ($15 + tax) and it's yours.
Sholiz, nobody here can tell you what to do. Your parents can't tell you what to do. Your friends can't tell you what to do. You need to do what is the best for you, and that is completely up to you. Reading your blog, I see mention of leaving home several times before this incident. You're 17, citing a few years of problems with school and drugs, and your dad paid for the car. He was obviously trying to help, so if you expect them to be understanding and giving while you're fucking up at school you need to be understanding and give something back too. It was pretty stupid of your dad to beat your car to shit. Maybe he got too emotional, or maybe he felt like you treated everything he works his ass off to provide you like shit, and wanted you to know what it feels like to see your hard work get trashed by a loved one. Nobody knows but you and your dad. If you honestly feel like your personal safety is threatened, get the fuck out of there. Otherwise own up to your life and sit down with your dad and figure this shit out. Fuck the cops, fuck court, fuck lawyers... this is the same "corrupt system" you complain about in your blogs but now you turn to it?? Just FYI the corrupt system doesn't end after high school. It gets worse. High school is nothing. You don't walk out of HS into eutopia, and you only have one chance to enjoy the simplicity of a bad teacher or shitty report card being the least of your worries. I have no idea what is really going on, and you don't even want to know what my teen years were like but my point is this: THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE TO BE 17. You seem like a smart guy, some of your thoughts remind me a lot of me in HS and yeah the system sucks. But it's the only system we have, and no matter what your excuse to other people is, you can never excuse yourself for giving up on your basic education and your own family. If things really don't work out at home and/or school, well all I can say is good luck and I hope it was the right choice.