A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid. A Student stands up and Says - we must find & stop her!. Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that is because we aren't married yet. Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." Its funny when people discuss over "love marriage" and "arranged marriage" It is like asking a person if he would like to "hang himself" or "shoot himself". What is a girl friend? Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends. Guide: "I welcome you all to Niagara Falls. These are the world's largest waterfalls and the sound intensity of the waterfall is so high, even 20 Supersonic planes passing by can't be heard. Now may I request the ladies to keep quite so that we can hear the Niagara Falls?" As a old man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!" Wife : Honey ...... What are You Looking for ? Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ...?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. Man : How old is your father? Boy : As old as me. Man : How can that be? Boy : He became a father only when I was born 1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to california in two days time? Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will. Customer : I bet you, it won't. Post Master : Why not? Customer : It's addressed to New York Blonde at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror! Blonde's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving.. Blonde - Why r all these people running? Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup. Blonde - If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?
LOL funny one..Here is one I have.. Once an Indian was fall into sea. A Shark came to him and ask Let me drop you to the shore. He said no you will eat me. Shark said," No I wont eat you, you people eat a lot of spicy food last month I ate one Indian and my ass is still burning." More Funny Jokes