When I was just a kid out playing football, my dad thought me about guts when he said, "You must have alot of balls to play this game." When we visited a toilet, he thought me about markmanship when he said, "You must aim at that bowl properly like this.." When I was a teenage, my dad thought me about woman, when he said, "Try not to get yourself hook with those ladies, they look good in the outside, but damage in the inside." When we were at the beach, he thought about good and evil when he said, "Son, a beach is heaven and so many things to see and so little time. Our yard is like garbage, so many things to listen but unpleasant." When I grew up, we had an arguement, and he thought me how I came about by saying, "You S.O.B! Get out from here...!" For more fun and humor: http://www.marzlist.com/SiteMap/humour.html
On a similar theme, the current b3ta challenge is one of the funniest I've seen in a while. Its called What If The Things Are Parents Told Us Children Were True? Some of it is actually funny. http://b3ta.com/challenge/grownupslie/