The use of semi-colorful language in a sales letter [good] or [bad]?

Discussion in 'General Marketing' started by Greg-J, Jan 17, 2006.

  1. #1
    I've never written a sales letter with anything close to colorful language, but I am currently writing one where I think it might add a bit of authority. The word I am considering in particular is 'damn'. In a context similar to "This is what I do, and I'm damn good at it".

    Has anyone experimented with the use of words like 'damn' or 'hell' ?
     
    Greg-J, Jan 17, 2006 IP
  2. Lever

    Lever Deep Thought

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    #2
    I must admit being partial to a dash of colurful language in sales & marketing literature as it adds that human element, showing that there's more than just a stuffed shirt behind the words. However, it depends on your audience; you may get away with it up to middle management level or in certain industries, e.g. like the building trade, but I have a client who writes for business top management and wouldn't dream of peppering the text with the faintest whiff of emotion or humanity.

    The important issue with saying you're "damn good at it" is that it raises the question "how?" and prompts "prove it!" Then you can be authorative and demonstrate your expertees, so you'll need to back that statement up, though I'm sure you've already got that covered ;)

    So yeah, my point is that I believe my client steers clear of the slightest bit colour because *they* regard it as not quite professional enough. Like I say, it very much depends on your target audience - maybe it's best not to use it until you can guage their reactions, maybe dropping in richer words later. :)
     
    Lever, Jan 17, 2006 IP
  3. Roman

    Roman Buffalo Tamerâ„¢

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    #3
    "This is what I do, and I'm damn good at it" is a paradox because than damn 'damn' will not make you look good. I'm not sure who your audience is, but I really can't imagine a scenario where a 'damn' would do any damn good.
     
    Roman, Jan 17, 2006 IP
  4. Greg-J

    Greg-J I humbly return to you.

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    #4
    Thank you both. It's not that I'm trying to sound one way or the other in particular. It just came out that way and when I read it back through it stuck out at me a little.

    In this instance my target audience is anyone that purchases vehicles less than USD $40K. I don't see people above that price point caring about my product.
     
    Greg-J, Jan 17, 2006 IP
  5. Rod

    Rod Well-Known Member

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    #5
    I guess, if you don't expect your readers to give a damn, then give them 'damn'.
     
    Rod, Jan 17, 2006 IP