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The Post Google Pagerank Update Disorder Support Group

Discussion in 'Google' started by mauiman, Aug 2, 2007.

  1. #1
    See the post linked to below for more information. If you'd like to volunteer to help the many expected post update casualties and those suffering mental illness please post your interest and availablility here.

    The Post Google Pagerank Update Disorder Support Group

    Thanks and enjoy the calm before the storm. The update should be occurring very soon.
    SEMrush
     
    mauiman, Aug 2, 2007 IP
    man1c likes this.
    SEMrush
  2. Imran

    Imran Notable Member

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    #2
    This is not a full fledged update only few pages were updated and only few sites probably sites which were left out earlier got updated before the major update. Cannot consider this a major update.
     
    Imran, Aug 2, 2007 IP
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  3. Code Monkey

    Code Monkey Active Member

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    #3
    Bubble pack works well in times like these.
     
    Code Monkey, Aug 2, 2007 IP
  4. swollenpickles

    swollenpickles Active Member

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    #4
    I suggest video games. They heal all wounds.
     
    swollenpickles, Aug 2, 2007 IP
  5. godmode

    godmode Well-Known Member

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    #5
    i suggest YOGA :D
     
    godmode, Aug 3, 2007 IP
  6. mauiman

    mauiman Well-Known Member

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    #6
    Very good therapeutic suggestions. (bubble pack, video games, yoga...)

    I'll be sure we have access to all in our clinic. Thank you! Won't be long now!
     
    mauiman, Aug 3, 2007 IP
  7. mizaks

    mizaks Well-Known Member

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    #7
    Alcohol masks all depression. Consume lots of it!
     
    mizaks, Aug 3, 2007 IP
  8. emptymirror

    emptymirror Well-Known Member

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    #8
    It's not over yet. Every PageRank update takes place over a period of time, not in one fell swoop. :)

    best,
    Denise
     
    emptymirror, Aug 3, 2007 IP
  9. mauiman

    mauiman Well-Known Member

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    #9
    This time next week I suspect we'll be overflowing with patients complaining about symptoms of 'Post Google PR Update Traumatic Syndrome'. The current update appears to be underway and by this time next week should be complete.

    I've doubled the size of the clinic so we can at least treat the patients with the most severe cases of 'Post Google PR Update Trauma Syndrome'. We've also stockpiled video games, bubble wrap, alcoholic beverages, and we've contracted some yoga instructors to be on hand as well. We need more....

    We have some excellent ideas for therapy, but I'm still going to need more volunteers to tend to the patients. We've never seen so many Googbies so wound up about a Google PR update before couple with so much fear related to Web directories and the treatment links in them might receive from Google's algorithm.

    The police have contingency plans in the event riots break out over the course of the update, but our job is to try to offer support to those afflicted with this ailment to help avoid major disruptions or problems.

    Get plenty of rest now during the calm before the storm!
     
    mauiman, Aug 5, 2007 IP
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  10. M5love

    M5love Well-Known Member

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    #10
    PageRank is a consipiracy...
     
    M5love, Aug 5, 2007 IP
  11. patrickberry

    patrickberry Active Member

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    #11
    actually i would suggest taking a holiday!

    its what i am gonna do tomorrow, of for a week without pc!

    wonderful.
     
    patrickberry, Aug 5, 2007 IP
  12. Tearabite

    Tearabite Prominent Member

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    #12
    I am going to try and self-medicate with lots of sex.. I think my wife hates the PR updates more than I do :rolleyes:
     
    Tearabite, Aug 5, 2007 IP
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  13. MattKNC

    MattKNC Peon

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    #13
    This just in from the CDC:

    Chocolate works wonders, but get plenty of exercise to ward off those unwanted pounds. In hot weather consume plenty of non-alcoholic beverages and move away from the keyboard to avoid stress leading to heart failure.
     
    MattKNC, Aug 10, 2007 IP
  14. Code Monkey

    Code Monkey Active Member

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    #14
    There are many things that can be read into that statement. ;)
     
    Code Monkey, Aug 10, 2007 IP
  15. vicdigi

    vicdigi Banned

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    #15
    not a major update
     
    vicdigi, Aug 10, 2007 IP
  16. upgrader

    upgrader Peon

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    #16
    I think I may need to join your clinic.

    I really cant take it anymore..........

    My symptoms so far include

    1) checking my 8 websites for PR update at least 5 times a day.
    2) I heard rumours of inner pages getting updates, so I started the long task of checking my 4000+ pages for PR update.
    3) I have started to shout and become violent towards my keyboard.
    4) I'm not getting enough sleep, because of fear of missing the BIG PR UPDATE.
    5) I have used all the Page Rank Checking websites I can find, and all have banned my IP address, due to exessive band width usage. So I had no choice but to make my own PR checking website.
    6) I have cronic depression, from wondering if my websites will be more than PR0.
    7) I have customers complaining that products are arriving broken, due to lack of bubbles in the bubble wrap packaging.

    Please, Please sombody help me.
    I just dont know what to do....
    I would kill myself right now, but then I would never know what my PR will be.

    I just know where to turn?
















    :)
     
    upgrader, Aug 10, 2007 IP
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  17. malcolm1

    malcolm1 Prominent Member

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    #17
    Hello...

    Could you please make me a reservation at your clinic....
    ( Its like the ones where movie stars go to right?)

    As every time i hear the letters P and R in the same sentence i start getting
    the shakes and something comes over me including suicidal tendencies and images of
    spiders attacking my :eek: heheheehh

    thx
    malcolm
     
    malcolm1, Aug 10, 2007 IP
  18. mauiman

    mauiman Well-Known Member

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    #18
    Good news Malcolm and upgrader!

    Britney Spears is going to be staying at our clinic for several weeks for a totally unrelated disorder that requires similar treatment. Apparently she demanded her agent put her up in a clinic that was full of Webmasters because she has the hots for 'em.

    I can't think of a better group of Webmasters to throw her in with then the Googbies!

    So bring your digital cameras because you never know what shots you might get and what they could be worth on ebay.

    In the meantime refer to the great suggestions above for temporary treatment to tide you over.

    Good luck!
     
    mauiman, Aug 13, 2007 IP
  19. mikey1090

    mikey1090 Moderator Staff

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    #19
    i need help. im getting depressed due to this update taking ages
     
    mikey1090, Aug 13, 2007 IP
  20. pondlife

    pondlife Peon

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    #20
    ha ha, that's funny. I suggest that all those obsessed with the PR come to me for some hypnotherapy ;)
     
    pondlife, Aug 13, 2007 IP