Saw it on here The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. 2. Good: Your wife's not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She's a lawyer. 3. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the Woman next door. Ugly: So are you. 4. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. 5. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad: You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly: Your 13 year old daughter borrowed them. 6. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. 7. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. 8. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun. Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas. 9. Good: Your son is dating someone new. Bad: It's another man. Ugly: He's your best friend. 10. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker. Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients. Way ugly: She makes more money than you do
I can wait on the grandkids....... I just want to have fun with my kids. Besides thinking about grandkids makes me feel old. BTW.... I started a blog for her... I will PM you the URL.
The only PIC on my desk is of my daughter on the side of the pool with her swim cap and goggles (I almost typed Google) on.
My wife and I were both swimmers.... we were kind of hoping she would be one too. I don't think we will have to worry.... she is a fish already. You shouls see her swim butterfly.... darn good for a 5.... almost 6 year old.
Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy." "I m afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS." The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn`t there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he speaks: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy." "Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn`t be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
I learnt to swim early, my next door neighbour and friend trained with me and grew up to break a world record (women's 200 breaststroke). Started swimming because she had asthma... what a result!
HALLOWEEN "FUNNIES" Q: What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? A: Bamboo. Q: What's a haunted chicken? A: Poultry-geist. Q: Why did the monster eat a light bulb? A: Because he was in need of a light snack. Q: Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles? A: Have you ever tried to iron a monster? Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make? A: Boo boos. Q: Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? A: Because of his coffin. Q: Why do mummies make excellent spies? A: They're good at keeping things under wraps Q: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost after he saw her all dressed up for Halloween? A: You look boo-tiful!
Fire Destroys Bush Presidential Library WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A tragic fire on Monday destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush. Both of his books have been lost. Presidential spokesman Ari Fleischer said the president was devastated, as he had not finished coloring the second one.