1. Advertising
    y u no do it?

    Advertising (learn more)

    Advertise virtually anything here, with CPM banner ads, CPM email ads and CPC contextual links. You can target relevant areas of the site and show ads based on geographical location of the user if you wish.

    Starts at just $1 per CPM or $0.10 per CPC.

The Jokes Thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Dominic, Jul 19, 2005.

  1. tekz999

    tekz999 Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    928
    Likes Received:
    6
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    145
    #381
    hahahahhahahha
    SEMrush
     
    tekz999, Jun 26, 2006 IP
    SEMrush
  2. Duality

    Duality Notable Member

    Messages:
    4,057
    Likes Received:
    268
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    245
    #382
    Lol, I've seen this one before but it still brings back memories lol. Good thing my GF isn't like that.
     
    Duality, Jun 26, 2006 IP
  3. v_sylvia

    v_sylvia Peon

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #383
    SURE OF ONE THING

    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
    one thing:
    either the car is new, or the wife is.


    :p

    hei u 2 comments above me ...
    making ppl laugh is good .. its smtg better than making ppl shooting!

    nice to know u anyway .. :)
     
    v_sylvia, Jun 29, 2006 IP
  4. lorien1973

    lorien1973 Notable Member

    Messages:
    12,206
    Likes Received:
    601
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    260
    #384
    Dear Tide Company:

    I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!

    I've used Tide throughout my married life; my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better!

    In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was.

    One thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse.

    I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative; and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

    In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative, and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

    What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

    Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.
     
    lorien1973, Jul 26, 2006 IP
  5. GLD

    GLD Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    307
    Likes Received:
    12
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    140
    #385
    What's your best joke? My repertoire is running low, and I need some good, new funny ones.
     
    GLD, Aug 14, 2006 IP
  6. Roman

    Roman Buffalo Tamer™

    Messages:
    6,217
    Likes Received:
    592
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    310
    #386
    Jacques, the world’s greatest fighter plane pilot goes into a bar after a long day of fighter plane piloting and quickly meets a lady. A few drinks and a short time later they are back at Jacques’ apartment. Soon enough they a kissing but Jacques stops, grabs some red wine and pours it over her lips.

    She asks “Jacques, what are you doing?”

    He replies: “I’m Jacques, the world’s greatest fighter plane pilot and when I have red meat I have to have red wine.”

    “Oh, how sweet” she comments.

    Not long after Jacques is a bit lower, kissing her breasts, but again he stops, grabs some white wine and pours it all over her breasts.

    She yelps “Jacques, what are you doing?”

    He replies: “I’m Jacques, the world’s greatest fighter plane pilot and when I have white meat I have to have white wine.”

    “Oh, how sweet” she comments.

    Not long after Jacques has moved his way down lower.

    She’s moaning in pleasure when Jacques again stops, grabs some brandy, pours it all over her and lights it on fire.

    This time she screams Jacques, what are you doing?”


    “I’m Jacques, the world’s greatest fighter plane pilot and when I go down, I go down in flames.”
     
    Roman, Aug 14, 2006 IP
  7. Cheap SEO Services

    Cheap SEO Services <------DoFollow Backlinks

    Messages:
    16,670
    Likes Received:
    1,318
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #387
    What do you call a bear with no ear?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    A "B"
     
    Cheap SEO Services, Aug 14, 2006 IP
  8. Innovator2

    Innovator2 Peon

    Messages:
    24
    Likes Received:
    2
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    #388
    yo mama so fat she sat on a rainbow and it rained skittles
     
    Innovator2, Aug 14, 2006 IP
  9. jameskon

    jameskon Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    2,396
    Likes Received:
    26
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    175
    #389
    Joke of the day!:D

     
    jameskon, Aug 21, 2006 IP
  10. britishguy

    britishguy Prominent Member

    Messages:
    7,951
    Likes Received:
    892
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    360
    #390
    Thanks OK keep them coming
     
    britishguy, Aug 21, 2006 IP
  11. Jerlene.net

    Jerlene.net Prominent Member

    Messages:
    11,974
    Likes Received:
    463
    Best Answers:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    360
    #391
    I like this letter better:

    Dearest Son

    I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.

    We don't live where we did when you left home.
    Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.

    I won't be able to send you the address because the last
    Gander family that lived here took the house numbers
    when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

    This place is really nice.
    It even has a washing machine.
    I'm not sure about it.
    I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
    We haven't seen them since.

    The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

    Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit,
    she put a third one in because she heard you have grown
    another foot since she last saw you.

    About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

    Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday.
    We were really worried because it took him two hours
    to get me and your father out.

    Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

    Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week.
    Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

    Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
    Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back.
    They drowned because they couldn't get
    the tailgate down.

    There isn't much more news at this time.
    Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

    Your Favorite Aunt,

    Mom
     
    Jerlene.net, Aug 21, 2006 IP
  12. Dominic

    Dominic Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,725
    Likes Received:
    121
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    185
    #392
    I haven't heard a good joke in a while, so this thread is back. Give us your best joke.
     
    Dominic, Jan 6, 2007 IP
  13. zenilshroff

    zenilshroff Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    504
    Likes Received:
    4
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    130
    #393
    Stupid Santa

    One sardar painfully shouts: “Santa! Your daughter has died!”

    Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor

    On reaching 50th floor, he remembers that he doesn’t have a daughter!

    On reaching 25th floor, he realizes that he is still unmarried!!

    On reaching 10th floor, he finally understands that he is Banta, and not Santa!!!
     
    zenilshroff, Feb 21, 2008 IP