Its hurt my feelings day, I see LOL Its kinda sad, cuz my name sounds like a girl's name too (damn my mom's danish roots) and people pronounce it "joanne" all the time. On top of that, I don't have a deep voice, so it just makes it all worse. Only good thing about it is that when a telemarketer call, I know it right away Good thing I'm so well adjusted or I'd take it personally
Yeah you do see how everyone was confused though right? I was leaning toward male for a while and then I was like well maybe lorien is a girl. I'm glad it's out in the open now. You're just one of the guys.
I'm still around. Spent the weekend in Russell by the way. Shacks up there cost about half a million $. Very nice though!
Yeah!!! The Sarahmeister is around (big thumbs up) I am waitng on my passport. I want to tour some of those "shacks" lol... Only cause there are big strong pillow squeezers like you around here you hottie stud muffin
Thought for the day... Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs...
A pirate walks into a bar.... The bartender says, "Hey, pirate...you have a steering wheel on your dick!" The pirate says, "Yarrrrgh, it's drivin' me nutts!"
Football FINALLY makes sense.......... I took my newest blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, I asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, I asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
I'm sure I heard this years ago but still... This got Sydney Australia laughing. Read it and you'll see why! Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down: DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?" Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have." DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please." Contestant: "Brian." DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?" Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married." DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please." Brian: "Sara." DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?" Brian: "She is gonna kill me." DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?" Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work." DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?" Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..." DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?" Brian: "About 10 minutes." DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake." Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice." DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning? Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..." DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?" Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..." DJ: "Uh huh..." Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: "On the kitchen table." DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this." [ 3 minutes of commercials follow. ] DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sarah, shall we?" (Touchtones.....ringing....) Clerk: "Kinkos." DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?" Clerk: "This is she." DJ: "Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now." Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?" DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?" Sarah: "No." DJ: "Good!" Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?" Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest." DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us. Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?" Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work." DJ: "What time?" Sarah: "Around 8 this morning." DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?" Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe." DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?" Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Where did you have it?" Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?" Brian: "Just tell him, honey." DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?" Sarah: "Well..." DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it? Sarah: "Up the arse....." After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break" And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password...something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in P... E... N... I... S... His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied: ***PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH***
Webby, I think you need to step away from the computer!! You know everything thats on these forums. It is not healthy. I have no time to read through 24 pages, Sorry! But hey, it's okay coz I'm dumb right.
Lmao @ Webby. The Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, A woman is a bundle of contradiction, She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, But will tackle a stranger alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, She'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk, She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk, At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad, She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad. The Moods of a Man Hungry. Horny. Sleepy.