Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: It's triplets. Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago. Good: Your wife's not talking to you. Bad: She wants a divorce. Ugly: She's a lawyer. Good: Your son is finally maturing. Bad: He's involved with the woman next door. Ugly: So are you. Good: Your son studies a lot in his room. Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there. Ugly: You're in them. Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids. Bad: You can't find your birth control pills. Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them. Good: Your husband understands fashion. Bad: He's a cross-dresser. Ugly: He looks better than you. Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter. Bad: She keeps interrupting. Ugly: With corrections. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun. Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas. Good: You son is dating someone new. Bad: It's another man. Ugly: He's your best friend. Good: Your daughter got a new job. Bad: As a hooker Ugly: Your coworkers are her best clients. Uglier: She makes more money than you do. I found this a while ago.. figured I should share it with the DP community
Well I can't find any other "Good bad ugly" ones, but here's another joke I read... A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really, " he said, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. "Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."