You can tell an evening has ended the worst way possible when you’re stuck in a pair of handcuffs and there isn’t a stripper, a horny ex-girlfriend or a mildly aroused barfly within 200 yards of your sorry ass. here are a few dumb criminals. Who doesn’t like pizza? Apparently, not this guy, which would mean that he does since it’s a double negative. According to the Dayton Daily News, a man got sentenced for stealing a truck load of frozen pizzas, crashing the car during a police chase and then reporting the crashed car as stolen two weeks later. When you’re on trial for a certain type of crime, it’s not best to reenact that crime in front of the whole jury unless you really want a free apartment where your toilet is always five inches from your head while you sleep. How do you stop a mugger who steals purses from women in his tracks? That’s easy, put a parked car in his tracks. I wish I was kidding. If it’s this easy to stop muggers, then maybe the police department will ease up on parking restrictions. Drinking and driving is never a good idea and neither is driving again after the police just pulled you over for drinking and driving. The thief in question stole a U-Haul, which is stupid because U-Haul will give you one as long as you give them a major credit card. It doesn’t even have to be YOUR credit card.