Test of political leanings

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by minstrel, Mar 30, 2006.

  1. #1
    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southern Republican?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

    You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

    • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    • Could we run away?
    • What does my wife think?
    • What about the kids?
    • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    • What does the law say about this situation?
    • Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    • Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    • Should I call 9-1-1?
    • Why is this street so deserted?
    • We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    • This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Southern Republican's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click

    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  2. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    187
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    183
    #2
    You left out the Centrist. :D
     
    marketjunction, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  3. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #3
    Centrists will get distracted before they get to the end of the question. :eek:
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  4. marketjunction

    marketjunction Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,779
    Likes Received:
    187
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    183
    #4
    There was a question? :D
     
    marketjunction, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  5. yo-yo

    yo-yo Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,619
    Likes Received:
    206
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    185
    #5
    I would shoot. But I hardly consider myself a Republican.
     
    yo-yo, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  6. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #6
    That's OK. A lot of us here aren't certain we should consider you human. :D
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
    sachin410 likes this.
  7. petertdavis

    petertdavis Notable Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    159
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    235
    #7
    Since when do terrorists attack with knives?
     
    petertdavis, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  8. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #8
    They are Knives of Mass Destruction.
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  9. petertdavis

    petertdavis Notable Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    159
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    235
    #9
    Laced with Anthrax, or with an improvized explosive device attached?
     
    petertdavis, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  10. yo-yo

    yo-yo Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,619
    Likes Received:
    206
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    185
    #10
    Quit asking so many qestions, democrat :D
     
    yo-yo, Mar 30, 2006 IP
    minstrel likes this.
  11. petertdavis

    petertdavis Notable Member

    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    159
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    235
    #11
    And anyway, if the knife were of the "weapons of mass descruction" type, the Republicans certainly would not be able to locate it. Therefore, I must question the validity of this testing.
     
    petertdavis, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  12. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #12
    What if it were a weapon of mass confusion?
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  13. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #13
    Now THAT was funny :D
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  14. yo-yo

    yo-yo Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,619
    Likes Received:
    206
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    185
    #14
    I have my moments :D

    However I thought this was much funnier:
     
    yo-yo, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  15. iowadawg

    iowadawg Prominent Member

    Messages:
    10,918
    Likes Received:
    811
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    380
    #15
    Southern Texas Republican, I would shoot at least two clips worth.
    But as I am now married into a Democrat family, and living in Iowa (demo land), I would have to thrust my wife in front of me and the kids.
     
    iowadawg, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  16. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #16
    And THEN fire two clips?
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  17. yo-yo

    yo-yo Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    4,619
    Likes Received:
    206
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    185
    #17
    I spent a week in Iowa visiting my aunt/uncle when I was a kid... the absolute most boring week of my entire life. I can't believe anyone lives there by choice :eek:
     
    yo-yo, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  18. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #18
    Why blame Iowa? Maybe it was just your aunt and uncle...
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  19. iowadawg

    iowadawg Prominent Member

    Messages:
    10,918
    Likes Received:
    811
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    380
    #19
    Lots to do here in Iowa.
    Watch the corn grow, the pigs get fat, the pheasants running across a field, and other such exciting things.
    LOL
    No, seriously I enjoy being here! So much to do, etc.
    Like Saturday night, going to a small town not far from here for a dance.
    Because one of my wife's brothers is in a band (damn good one, and a hoot to see the really old ones do the cotton-eyed joe).
    Another 45 days or so, time to hit the country side for mushrooms (a delicacy that I discovered last year!).
     
    iowadawg, Mar 30, 2006 IP
  20. minstrel

    minstrel Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    15,082
    Likes Received:
    1,243
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    480
    #20
    Yep. By golly! Them mushroom pickin' days is purty much the highlight of the year 'round these h'yere parts. ;)

    Folks 'round here don't take kindly to folks who don't take kindly to Iowans! :mad:

    Now, Skeeter... he ain't hurtin' no one...
     
    minstrel, Mar 30, 2006 IP