In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( I have no other time to dry my hair). On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how...?) On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." ( But, it's "just" a suggestion). On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well... a bit late, huh?) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...noooo... Really?) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because...?) On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to... what?) On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) source: http://www.bitchslapp.com/viewtopic.php?t=379