Wednesday June 14 10:10 PM EDT Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHP By Brian Briggs Topeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP. "A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB." Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP." In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs. Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!" PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP please visit http://www.php.net.
ROFLOL! Reminds me of some of the scenes in bowling for columbine... "One 3yr old has been suspended from school because he had a bit of folded paper, pointed it at his friends and told them he was going to kill them, during a game of cops and robbers"...
Nice one! PHP is being served world wide, even by restaurant websites. Dodgy stuff mate. Apparently invented or at least grown in fast quantities by the Apache Indians. Combined with certain forms of SQL, your imagination is your only limitation. This stuff gets you high. Many (including some of us i assume) have lost contact with the real world years ago because of PHP and SQL. Poor buggers.