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Spot the mistake/mistakes

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by mariusstp, Mar 10, 2010.

  1. #1
    Hello,

    Can someone spot the mistakes (if any) from this article? Only if you have time, of course. I am just curious to see what you can spot, this is just a sample article that won't be used anywhere. Thanks!




    One of the most important parts about creating herbal formulas is getting informed. If you want to create your own natural product, you have to know everything about the benefits of using herbs and you also have to understand the effects of combining these ingredients. However, this is just the beginning.
    SEMrush
    If you want to create an effective herbal formula you also need to know how to set up the ratio between different ingredients. Minor changes in quantity can lead to significant differences in results. The best method of creating herbal formulas is by looking at the symptoms you are trying to cure. This way, you will have a steady base and it won’t take long until you will figure out which herb can cure which symptoms. After you’re done with that, you will have to figure out the amount of each ingredient that needs to be added to the formula.

    Another important aspect about creating herbal formulas is looking at the side effects. Even if most natural ingredients are completely safe, some of them can cause negative reactions, especially when combined with a preexisting condition. If you are sure that your ingredients are not harmful in any situation, you can continue. Maintaining a formula which can’t cause side effects is especially important if you want to experiment with trial and error. This way, even if your formula is ineffective, at least it won’t be harmful.

    In the end, knowledge is the most important part about creating herbal formulas. If you know which are the effects of your herbs and how much of each is needed in your formula, you have high chances of getting a successful result.
     
    mariusstp, Mar 10, 2010 IP
    SEMrush
  2. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #2
    Here are my general feelings.

    1] I feel a general wrongness about this article.
    2] It comes off as broken and incoherent to me.
    3] The language doesn't flow smoothly.
    4] The chemistry between different words that form various sentences is not right.
    5] Unnecessary wording is present that doesn't add to the article in any way.
     
    lightless, Mar 10, 2010 IP
  3. Y.L. Prinzel

    Y.L. Prinzel Peon

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    #3
    I am by no means an editor, but here is some feedback. Overall, it doesn't make sense when you actually look at what is being said. For instance:

    "The best method of creating herbal formulas is by looking at the symptoms you are trying to cure." Looking at symptoms you are trying to cure is not a method of creating an herbal formula. It is on step in creating the formula. You could say something like: "The best method of creating herbal formulas is to begin the process by looking at the symptoms you are trying to cure."

    "One of the most important parts about creating herbal formulas is getting informed." This sentence doesn't make sense. Information is certainly an important aspect and part of the process, but it doesn't make sense to say it's an "important part about" creating formulas. You are using "about" incorrectly throughout the article. You are using "about" to describe different parts of a process and would sound much better if you used "of."

    "Maintaining a formula which can’t cause side effects is especially important if you want to experiment with trial and error." This sentence, on its own, doesn't make sense.

    "After you’re done with that, you will have to figure out the amount of each ingredient that needs to be added to the formula." This is a personal pet peeve of mine--I have no idea what your editor would say, but I don't like telling people they "have" to do something. It's too casual--like someone just casually giving instructions who happens to use the word, "have" a lot.

    This is not comprehensive, but hopefully you get the idea :)
     
    Y.L. Prinzel, Mar 10, 2010 IP
  4. Perry Rose

    Perry Rose Peon

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    #4
    Other than you need to explain more in it (it looks like it was rushed, not much work put in it, like one of those crappy articles found in ezine), and putting in a couple of commas, it is ok.
     
    Perry Rose, Mar 10, 2010 IP
  5. omarabid

    omarabid Well-Known Member

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    #5
    Spelling mistakes can be easily avoided using a spell checker. Some grammatical mistakes can be also spotted using Word (I used Word 2007). The structuring, flow and coherence of the article can be adjusted with reading. Subscribe to a list of blogs, make an aim to read 10 articles every day, that's more than 3000 article in one year. It might be useful to take an additional English class every-week where you practice by writing an article and give it to your professor to spot the mistakes :)
     
    omarabid, Mar 11, 2010 IP
  6. DavidHall01

    DavidHall01 Peon

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    #6
    Its very helpful for me and my friends. I will share this with another to provide them a very interesting article.
     
    DavidHall01, Mar 11, 2010 IP
  7. alexa_s

    alexa_s Peon

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    #7
    It's just drivel.

    It's what we call in the trade a "backlink-only article".

    It's not going to produce a customer for anything. It doesn't qualify the reader in any way. There's nothing of any interest or significance in it at all. It's something that an internet marketer would mass-submit (but not in his own name!) to as many article directories as possible, purely for backlinks. It can serve no other purpose.
     
    alexa_s, Mar 11, 2010 IP
    dorothydot likes this.
  8. jhmattern

    jhmattern Illustrious Member

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    #8
    Well, it might serve one other purpose -- doing irreparable damage to the writer's or buyer's overall business.
     
    jhmattern, Mar 11, 2010 IP
  9. mariusstp

    mariusstp Member

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    #9
    Thank you for your responses.


    Only if it's not too much trouble, any feedback on this small sample? Last one, I promise :)


     
    mariusstp, Mar 12, 2010 IP
  10. hopeless4

    hopeless4 Active Member

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    #10
    I will agree with everyone else that your sentences lack flow, and punctuation. If your trying to write sales copy, just pay someone who knows what they are doing. You can't start a sentence with "iphone". I really can't think of too many acceptable ways to start a sentence with "iphones" either, even in sales copy. Punctuation lets people graps what your saying, as they move through your sentences, and paragraphs.

    Just pay someone to write your articles, while your learning to do it for yourself. I've had two people that I wrote articles for recently, tell me they had no idea what their site, or blog was missing, until they had a chance to see how someone else would put the content together, on their behalf.

    I'm sure you can find someone to put things together for you. GL! :D
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2010
    hopeless4, Mar 12, 2010 IP
  11. dorothydot

    dorothydot Peon

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    #11
    Yes, Alexa is spot-dot-on. This lady is a wonderfully smart copywriter who is going places fast. Drivel never gets anywhere except to downgrade the copywriter's standing. An article needs to give the readers information that they find interesting and useful.
     
    dorothydot, Mar 15, 2010 IP
  12. alfholmes

    alfholmes Peon

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    #12
    You have all the facts you need. Why not put them in bullet points in order of relevance and then write an article based on the points. Try not to pad it out, and keep it simple. Just take your time!

    When finished, read it out loud to yourself. Don't just read it through in your head, because you'll miss mistakes you would have found by sub-vocalising the text.

    Hope this helps!!
     
    alfholmes, Mar 16, 2010 IP