@ Everyone This person is actually fixing the website right now so this isn't what the site looked like earlier when this post was written. I think that he is actually filling in the blanks now. @ Hilosale I think that you have the right idea now. Before you had a scattered mess with no real focal point or call to action. Now you are putting in content and doing a review of a few products. You are doing a good job, keep it up. There is still one huge problem though. Your english does not make sense. I am not trying to be rude but if you are trying to get people to buy your products, the site MUST be written in proper english. Here is an example from the first lines on your site: The Fact on How to Loose Belly Fat Everywhere you will find that everyone promises to you they can remove your belly fat, the fact is here, the fact “ How you can burn the fat feed the muscle " None of that makes any sense. You need someone to rewrite this for you.
I believe there's only two or three guys on dp making 10 or more sales a day .. on average. And they're obviously the vendors of some successful products .. I'm not saying that you can get up to that level, but you'll need at least 10K targeted visitors to your landing pages daily and that requires both time and moneyz. Target one sale a day instead of flushing your brain with such goals of making 10 sales per day. Al.
Its "How to LOSE" and not "loose" That's the first thing i spotted on your site. And, as the above poster said..the english is so bad i stopped reading after the first sentence ;/ Also..i dont like: After the header, there is a BIG chunk of text. NOT GOOD. Need more pictures. And more customer testimonials, not all the way on the bottom. Example of a good page http://www.panicaway.com Where you can see testimonials on the right. Your headline "The fact on how to loose belly fat" <-- not only has it a spelling error, its also uninteresting. SELL and promise something to the people...instead of "The fact on how to lose belly fat"....have a headline like "You too can lose 20lbs of ugly belly fat in only one week" "Do you want to easily lose 20lbs of ugly fat in a few days?" "Learn the secret how YOU can lose ugly fat in no time". "Learn the secret how you can easily lose ugly belly fat in no time" Etc..etc...i could write a few hundred of such headlines right now...but you get the idea... I am not big in the weight-loss niche, but i *think* that in that niche its a good idea to specify expected results, like to tell people they can lose X pounds in Y days is always good.
It's looking much more like a "landing-page", for sure! The key advice has already been given by HomeBizOpp, I think: you must have the page proofread/edited by someone whose first language is English. This isn't something you can correct one word/sentence at a time in a forum, by asking people for advice. You need one person who does this sort of work do go over the whole page for you and make the necessary changes so that the English is good, and fluent. (Please excuse me: I'm not volunteering! But you'll find someone, and it's not a big job at all - just a very important one!). For instance, you have used the word "loose" instead of "lose"! ("Lose" means "get rid of", which is what you wanted to say. "Loose" means "untighten"/"not tight", which is something completely different. You must get all these things changed! But it's a pleasure to see this site, compared with what was there a couple of days ago! Edited to add: sorry, I was typing my post while GeorgR replied and I didn't see that he had already commented on this! I agree with Georg's other points, too. I know this page well. It's a great page for customers, and for a vendor. It's no good at all for serious affiliates because it's a "leaky" page!!
hey....check my new landing page,...i hope it's looked better now...any comment please... here Regards, hilosale ( Never Give Up)....
Okay, I am going to say this one more time nicely. Your website is not written in proper english. Half of it doesn't even make sense. Additionally, you are missing capital letters all over the place. The very first paragraph that you expect people to read is this: "Weight loss systems will really work when you implemented it in your habit. And now what is habit? simply stated, a habit is something you do so often it becomes easy, in other words, it’s a behavior you keep repeating if you persist developing a new behavior, eventually it becomes automatic. " Seriously? Also while the website itself looks much better than it did before, now I am a bit confused about what you are selling. Are you just selling "Skinny Vinny" and "Moni Bony"? What are the pictures of the "cheapest products"? Are those products in the two packages? You need to be more clear because it is all very confusing. I'm not trying to be mean but please hire someone to fix the grammar, punctuation and spelling on your website before bumping this thread again. If you aren't going to listen to our NUMBER ONE suggestion, why are you here?
OMG - I just noticed something... Are you seriously promoting "English Writing Software" in your signature?
I have to agree. Agreed. I'm also not trying to be mean, but you have to do this for any potential customers to be willing to read the page, let alone to take it seriously. Oops, suddenly it makes sense (sort of): I have a nasty feeling I know how this page was written. If I'm right in that suspicion, it's not a good advertisement for that software!