Some Jokes :-)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by rochow, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. #1
    Here are some jokes I found funny :)

    I seperated them by quotes to make it easier to tell the jokes apart.

    *WARNING* Some jokes are "sexual". If these may offend you, please don't continue reading!

    Feel free to add your own! :D
     
    rochow, Mar 13, 2007 IP
  2. FreakyLime

    FreakyLime Guest

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    #2
    Funny much!

    I'll add one when i can find some funny, but reasonably sensible jokes.
     
    FreakyLime, Mar 13, 2007 IP
  3. nick seo MYW

    nick seo MYW Banned

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    #3
    Cool It is very funny
     
    nick seo MYW, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  4. rochow

    rochow Notable Member

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    #4
    *gosh* you guys are so boring!

    Surely at least one made you crack a smile! :D
     
    rochow, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  5. bluebirds

    bluebirds Peon

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    #5
    very funny :D
     
    bluebirds, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  6. nieves22

    nieves22 Peon

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    #6
    I like the michael jackson one.:)
     
    nieves22, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  7. Coolalex

    Coolalex Banned

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    #7
    SUPER FUNNY!

    I made this one up yesterday:

     
    Coolalex, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  8. scart3r

    scart3r Notable Member

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    #8
    Smile has been cracked ;)
     
    scart3r, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  9. bad_bob00

    bad_bob00 Active Member

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    #9
    Long winded joke but here goes...(its worth it) :)

    A young man was wandering, lost, in a forest when he came upon a small house.
    Knocking on the door he was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, gray beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"
    "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."
    "OK," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man as she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything
    quiet so the old man wouldn't hear and, near dawn, he crept back to his room, exhausted but happy.
    He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the line that was already getting close to taut. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

    More:

    Two women walked into a department store, stopped at the perfume counter and picked up a sample bottle. One sprayed the perfume on her wrist and smelled it. "That's nice, isn't it?" Sharon said waving her arm under her friend's nose. "Yeah. What's it called?" "Viens a moi." "Viens a moi? What's that mean?" A clerk offered some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, is French for 'come to me.'" Sharon took another sniff. "That doesn't smell like come to me," she said, offering her arm to her friend again. "Does that smell like come to you?"



    President Bush's morning security briefing is wrapping up. Donald Rumsfeld is concluding his part and says, "Finally, three Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday near Baghdad."

    "OH MY GOD!" shrieks Bush, and he buries his head in his hands for a seemingly interminable 30 seconds. Stunned at the unexpected
    display of emotion, the president's staff sit speechless, not sure how to react.

    Finally, Bush looks up and asks Rumsfeld, "How many is a brazillion?"



    Concentration test for men

    Caution - adult content!
    http://www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf
     
    bad_bob00, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  10. scart3r

    scart3r Notable Member

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    #10
    Hilarious! I love the Dubbua one :D Gonna share that one with a few people!
     
    scart3r, Mar 15, 2007 IP
  11. FreakyLime

    FreakyLime Guest

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    #11
    Awesome, keep them coming :D
     
    FreakyLime, Mar 15, 2007 IP