does anyone know of a good piece of software or website that allows you to track reciprocal links back to your site?
Well, recip links have been devalued, so it's probably not even worth your time. But a friend blogged about how to do software things that would accomplish what you're looking for. blog.exo-brain.com/requesting-web-url-status-from-net-code/2007-09-22/ Just use the object's Content property to check for your URL inside of a link. I think you can even set the User Agent, but I could be wrong on that.
I've just developed a tool to check reciprocal and paid links. Here's the thread: http://forums.digitalpoint.com/showthread.php?t=516156 Let me know if you're interested to try it out; ohh it's free btw