Selling Sick and Tired of Clueless, Unimaginative and/or Boring Content Writers? YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR!

I'm going to try and make this short and sweet boys and girls. Not on purpose, mind you, but because I'd already typed out a much lengthier, much more in-depth version of the following but thanks to one of those random, blue-screened, automatic reboot error... things... alas, it was lost. It was lost forever.

Thanks to being a steadfast believer in many things happening for a reason, I've decided to tighten up the overall gist of what I'm going to be saying up in here. All while also writing the draft in Microsoft Word and CTRL+S'ing every 7 seconds because I'm nothing if not someone who learns from their mistakes. Fool me once, etc. etc.

So... who am I?

Well, my name's Josh, I'm two months shy of 33 years old and I've been a freelance content writer for nearly seven years now. My favorite color is green, I sleep with a ridiculous amount of pillows and my favorite food actually varies depending on my mood and particular locale at any given moment.

There. Now we're practically cousins!

Now, you've likely already read all of the major types of service pitch threads over the years. Personally, I'm a firm believer that these types of things should be honest, straight to the point and steer well clear of trying to be clever or cute via either entirely-too-much formatting, reverse psychology and/or whatever else it is all you crazy kids are up to these days.

Yes, that's all pretty ironic considering I was anything BUT straight to the point in my previous (albeit now tragically lost forever to the ether) service thread draft, but... here we are, back on track and learning from our mistakes like a trooper.

Anyway, with that 280-word preamble out of the way in my short-and-to-the-point pitch post, let's get down to business, shall we?

I'm a writer. A writer's writer you could say.

I do it all. Basic web content, articles, ad copy, shameless clickbait fodder, email blasts, blog posts -- even those ethically-gray fake blog posts where I get to pretend I'm some random, down-on-their-luck person who somehow managed to stumble on some magical product that -- oh snap! -- happens to be offering a free trial that only requires your credit or debit card to process the shipping and handling. Yeah, those. Rebills. I approach those jobs like I'm making a D&D character. Just get way, way too into it like a weirdo.

Basically if you can name it I can write it. And write it well.

I'm fortunate to be quite gifted at the craft but more importantly I just really love doing it. The writing, the typing, the proofreading, the DRAFTS?! Hnnghhhh. I enjoy the entire shebang. There's just something about creating something from nothing. That something forming from nothing within my brain and zapping out the neurons (or whatever they are) to travel down and out along my arms, hands and fingers. The entire process completed via a delicately deliberate tap-dance all across the keyboard.

It's pretty cool when you think about it.

Obviously when I get an order for, say... 15 500-word articles about the wondrous world of wooden wine racks, I'm not like, "WOO-HOO! PARTY TIME!" I received just such an order one time and it was just as excruciating as it sounds. In a weird way, though, just researching such random, mundane topics like that but somehow managing to whip together the requisite amount of words in a thoughtful, engaging way? That's what it's all about. At least for me.

Many of you are now almost assuredly convinced I'm not all there at this point. And hey, you're not wrong. But if you're looking for website content or sales page copy or anything else that doesn't belong in a technical manual or a medical textbook (although I can switch skins for those, too), then I'm your guy.

If you want your readers to be engaged, entertained, enraged, saddened, emboldened -- pick any emotion or reaction you like. You've come to the right place.

Like I said, I've been doing this for nearly seven years now. I've freelanced mercenary-style, I've been a Feature Writer, a Head Writer and a Managing Editor. I've written long-term for everything from video game websites to credit repair blogs. I even managed to parlay my networking connections into getting a street-level Internet degree in online marketing and then parlayed that into becoming an Account Registration Manager at a CPA network for two years.

So not only can I write you entertaining, captivating and highly-converting content, but I can also help you strategize and optimize your overall plan of attack. I can help you more easily or more lucratively achieve your bottom line.

Throw in some good, old-fashioned tricks of the trade I've learned along the way and you've got yourself a balanced, multi-tool powerhouse of a content writer. Did you know that the number 7 is the most captivating, eye-catching number out of all the 0-9 digits to most people? Or that the average person favors a more compact, thinner format for longer styled ad copy -- even more-so when accompanied by a sidebar to the left or right?

How about the preferred background color to place behind a long-form call to action style sales pitch? Or where best to place said calls to action in question? And how many?

When it's all said and done you're going to get what you pay for. Sure, you can save quite a bit by deciding to go with someone else, or -- heaven forbid -- deciding to go with the penny-a-word Indian content mills. Are they cheaper? Oh yes, most definitely. But will your site read like it was written by a second grader who just learned how to use their new thesaurus? This, too, is more right on target and the opposite of no, friend.

Why go with boring or soulless or unimaginative writers? Or one's who aren't knowledgeable about much of anything besides hitting the requisite word count while saying the same overall thing 17 different times? Are the cheaper truly worth it in the end when you're taking into account your bottom line?

I don't know. I can't answer that for you -- only you can. But the odds aren't going to be favorable.

Listed below are my basic content rate(s) at this time. Obviously said rate(s) can and will fluctuate depending on the specifics of the job in question. I have absolutely no problem giving bulk discounts or long-term loyalty discounts either. I'm actually a really easy-going barterer. So long as you're in the same neighborhood as what I'm looking for I have no problem working something out in your favor.

All I ask in return is half up-front, half upon completion (and your subsequent, full-on satisfaction) of the project. Pretty easy, straight forward stuff.

If you'd like to get in touch with me you can either PM me directly here on Digital Point, hit me up on Skype -- username CrackContentSolutions -- or you can email me over at . Whatever's easier for you is easier for me!

I look forward to working with many of you soon and wish you and your family great health, good tidings of great joy and excellent ROI percentages forevermore. Forevermore. Amen.

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IN ORDER TO SHOW I CAN WALK THE WALK, I'LL BE OFFERING TWO 100% FREE REVIEW COPIES OF UP TO 500 WORDS ON A TOPIC/SUBJECT/FORMAT OF YOUR CHOOSING. SO LONG AS YOU'RE A MODERATELY ACTIVE OR RESPECTED MEMBER AND YOU'RE THE FIRST OR SECOND PERSON TO ASK IN THIS THREAD, YOU'RE GOOD TO GO -- IT'S YOURS!! (HIT ME UP WITH THE DETAILS AND I'LL HAVE IT OVER TO YOU IN ABOUT AN HOUR.)

ALSO, IN THE INTERESTS OF PROVIDING A SALE UP AT THE TOP OF THIS POST, I LISTED THE OPTION TO PURCHASE 1,000 WORDS ON ANY TOPIC AND IN WHICHEVER FORMAT YOU DESIRE FOR OVER 25% OFF MY REGULAR RATES! SO THAT'S 1,000 WORDS FOR JUST $25 INSTEAD OF $35 -- IN CASE YOU'RE NOT VERY ADEPT AT MATH, THAT'S $10 OFF!

NOTE: OFFER VALID ONLY THRU MIDNIGHT FRIDAY (OCTOBER THE 4TH)

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BASIC CONTENT (SEE: ARTICLES, BLOG POSTS, EMAIL BLASTS & KEYWORD DENSE COPY) STARTING RATES:

$3.50 Per 100 Words, Coupled With the Same 25% Discount Posted Up Above, But This One Is Off Your ENTIRE FIRST ORDER TOTAL!

CONVERSION-SENSITIVE CONTENT (SEE: COPYWRITING, AD COPY, SALES PAGES & LANDING PAGES) STARTING RATES:

$5.00 Per 100 Words, ALSO Coupled With the Same 25% Discount Posted Up Above, But This One Is Off Your ENTIRE FIRST ORDER TOTAL!

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AGAIN, DON'T BE DISCOURAGED IF YOU NEED ANYTHING NOT SPECIFICALLY LISTED ABOVE. I'LL LITERALLY WRITE ABOUT OR PITCH ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING. JUST SEND ME A PM OR E-MAIL VIA AND WE CAN TALK SHOP AND GET YOU A QUOTE!


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