The point I was trying to make. They are out there, they just don't talk about it unless you ask. You hear so many people complain about their marriage that is makes you think it can't be good when in reality it can be. Just doesn't happen for everyone.
Yep, you were right Mike. When asked, the happy ones seem to want to share their happiness and I don't blame them.
My family is full of bad marriages. Except my oldest cousin. She's been married for 28 years, 4 kids, 2 grandkinds. When you ask her if she is happy, she say she is. Otherwise she doesn't mention it. I think it is because a lot of people will get jealous (at least in my family).
On the news in England a few days ago there was this couple on who have been married for 80 years. Ain't that something! She's something like 100 years old, and they are still very much happy and loved up and they said the secret to being happily married is never goto bed fighting and consists of 2 words; ''yes dear'' I can't wait to get married. My family is full of broken marriages. My parents divorce was terrible, but just because it doesn't work for everyone, doesn't make me loose hope. I'm a gushy romantic at heart and being happily married to one person..forever is like my dream. I agree with Jules, men are just as bad at trying to change women. Ages ago I met one of my ex boyfriends in a club, He was initially attracted to me because I was loud, flirty, dressed in skimpy clothes and up for a laugh. As soon as we got together, the thing that attracted him to me became something that split us up. I won't change for anyone and I think if you find ''the one'' then he will love you for you. It's all about building your foundation on friendship and trust and communication is the key factor in making the marriage work. I imagine the in love feeling changes after a while, you cant go on having butterflies in your tummy ect. forever, but being in-love turns into a deeper caring love, which is just as lovely. Hark at me going on. I just can't wait to get married. The end.
The 80 years olds: When they asked if it was love at first site, she said "I didnt think he was anything special really" ha, Find somone that doesnt 'bother' you too much and it'll last 80 years. Give me 6 months of intensity anytime
Hahaha innit. That cracked me up. I don't know exactly how old she was, but she was as bright as a button for her age and he fell asleep in the middle of the interview. Cute!
Yeah, its an obvious case of he ground her down til she just agreed.. now he got his wish he's worn out
I know the pain of this all too well, except it was done to me. I wanted to talk it out before bed and he'd shut down, ignore me and go to sleep and leave me awake crying, this was many many years ago. It caused me to get super depressed and turned me into a cutter but luckily that didn't last long cause I have this one deep scar on my arm and don't like it there much, lol. So that was a good reality check. I need an older guy, not this immature ass I am with, I know that now, just a matter of time.
My sister just emailed me this, I found this thread so have resurrected it from my deleted folder, an oldy but a goody Once upon a time,~~~~~~~in a land far away,~~~~~~~a beautiful, independent,~~~~~~~self-assured princess~~~~~~~happened to come upon a frog as she sat,~~~~~~~~contemplating ecological issues~~~~~~~~on the shores of an unpolluted pond~~~~~~~~in a verdant meadow near her castle.~~~~~~~~The frog hopped into the princess' lap~~~~~~~~and said: "Elegant Lady,~~~~~~~~I was once a handsome prince,~~~~~~~~until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.~~~~~~~~One kiss from you, however,~~~~~~~~and I will turn back~~~~~~~~into the dapper, young prince that I am~~~~~~~~and then, my sweet, we can marry~~~~~~~~and set up housekeeping in your castle~~~~~~~~with my mother,~~~~~~~~where you can prepare my meals,~~~~~~~~clean my clothes, bear my children,~~~~~~~~and forever~~~~~~~~feel grateful and happy doing so".~~~~~~~~That night,~~~~~~~~as the princess dined sumptuously~~~~~~~~on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs~~~~~~~~seasoned in a white wine~~~~~~~and onion cream sauce,~~~~~~~~she chuckled and thought to herself:~~~~~~~~I don't f*****g think so.
I figured there would be a woman's side to my observations, and I can't argue with that. It wouldn't happen with me because I would always be proud of her looking as good as she could look. But you are correct I've seen it happen with some men.
Unfortunately there is a lot of wisdom in those two observations. It seems to be a matter of "damned if you do and damned if you don't".
Married 12 years... very happy, planning on dying this way One rule and one rule only Marriage is two seperate people growing together. If each partner can support the other in developing and growing as an individual, you've got a good basis for a life relationship and a good environment to bring kids into.
I don't see how they are worse. Lonely and bored are about equally undesirable in my experience so switching them around doesn't really change anything???