server load,bad mysql process,help plz

Hello every one
i have dedicated server,
Intel Pentium 4 2.8 GHz, Ram:1024GB, bandwidth:1500GB, storage:120GB,
operation sys: CentOS / Windows .NET

i have problem in my server,i run mysql databases in all pages,i have vbulletin forum,coppermine,and adsense lock in all html pages

i have about 200 visitors online at the same time or less,lunarpages support told me that i have bad mysql process in forum,coppermine,and adsense lock,
this mean in all pages
every day i recieve many messages about httpd faild and mysql faild,

they told me may be i need to tune mysql and php

last night server load went to 185,and memory used was 85%
so how can i solve this problem plz?
to make my server load always good
any body can help?

 

Hope there are some applications using much memory, findout with your server provider and let them help, they do that

 

You can start by posting your httpd.conf and my.cnf here.

 

yep...and we can let you know the optimized values

 

thanx every one
but how can i get the httpd.conf and my.cnf?
from ssh or from WHM?
can you give me the way step by step plz?

 

still waiting help for my last question
thanx every one