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SEO jokes

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by kmofo, Aug 11, 2010.

  1. #1
    I ran across some funny statements about SEOs and thought I'd share them with you:


    How many SEO specialists does it take to change a lightbulb, light_bulb, light-bulb, light.bulb, light bulb ?

    SEOs are safe from the threat of automation taking over their professions. No one would build a robot to do nothing.

    What did the SEO do on his honeymoon? A: He put a “nofollow” outside the door.
    SEMrush
    What does BLOG stand for? A Better Listing On Google.

    What does an evangelist drink out of when partying hard? A conversion funnel.

    What do you call driving into London? Paid traffic.

    Old SEOs never die, they just lose their rankings.
     
    kmofo, Aug 11, 2010 IP
    SEMrush
  2. Joey_

    Joey_ Guest

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    #2
    Really nice jokes dude, I like that "Old SEOs never die, they just lose their rankings"
     
    Joey_, Aug 11, 2010 IP
  3. acatmusic

    acatmusic Active Member

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    #3
    lol the first one was my fav with the different keywords lol
     
    acatmusic, Aug 12, 2010 IP
  4. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #4
    Another one:

    Three SEOs were plotting their strategies one evening late into the night when they all fell asleep. In their dreams they were visited by a sweet and beautiful fairy god-mother named Matticia. “You have all been so good, abiding by search engine guidelines, you may each have one wish,” Matticia said softly.

    The first SEO thought quickly and said, “I wish I had a magical link building pen. Every request I send out will get a link back.”

    Matticia waved her wand, sparkling stuff came flying out the end, and the first SEO felt a tingly sensation all up and down. A pen appeared in the first SEO’s hand.

    The second SEO said, “I wish I had a magical Mirror of Link Baitiness. I want my Web sites to be so beautiful people will always link to their natural beauty.”

    Matticia waved her wand again, and sparkly stuff went flying around the second SEO, who felt all tingly deep inside. A mirror appeared in the second SEO’s hand.

    In the morning, the three SEOs woke up all excited. The first SEO looked down and saw Matticia’s pen. “Look!” the first SEO said. “With this magic pen I’ll always be able to get whatever links I ask for!”

    The second SEO held up the mirror and said, “But I will never have to ask for links again. People will always link to the natural beauty of my Web sites.”

    They then looked at the third SEO, who glanced downward and shuffled his feet. “Well?” said the first SEO. “Yeah, what did you wish for?” the second SEO asked.

    “Nah, you wouldn’t want to know,” the third SEO told his friends. They insisted they wanted to know what Matticia did for him. “Really, you don’t want to know,” he replied. But the first two SEOs demanded to know what wish Matticia had granted to the third SEO.

    “Well,” he said slowly, “You both had such great ideas I figured I wouldn’t be able to out-optimize your sites. So I asked Matticia to 301-redirect all your sites to mine.”
     
    kmofo, Aug 13, 2010 IP
  5. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #5
    ...and some SEO advice from up-there ;)

    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 13, 2010 IP
  6. RadioBounce

    RadioBounce Banned

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    #6
    Damn, I've heard of nerd jokes but SEO jokes? That's jut FTW!
     
    RadioBounce, Aug 13, 2010 IP
  7. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #7
    some more:

    A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

    Two SEOs were watching a girl with big boobs on a trampoline. 1st:I hate it? 2nd: What, the trampoline? 1st: No the bounce rate.
     
    kmofo, Aug 13, 2010 IP
  8. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #8
    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 14, 2010 IP
  9. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #9
    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 14, 2010 IP
  10. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #10
    and some density tips:

    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 15, 2010 IP
  11. extremephp

    extremephp Peon

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    #11
    KeyWord Concentration Is So High On that Birthday Letter!! Google will Trash it suspecting of Spam :D
    But in the other case, it would rank No.1 In Google For Keyword BirthDay

    ~ExP~
     
    extremephp, Aug 15, 2010 IP
  12. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #12
    A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...

    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 16, 2010 IP
  13. BlogPostingService

    BlogPostingService Member

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    #13
    Q. What are SEOs good for?
    A. They make used car salesmen look good.
     
    BlogPostingService, Aug 16, 2010 IP
  14. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #14
    why commitment is so important for quality seo:

    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 17, 2010 IP
  15. ThatThing

    ThatThing Well-Known Member

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    #15
    [​IMG]
     
    ThatThing, Aug 17, 2010 IP
  16. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #16
    @ThatThing: I'd only disallow "googlebot-image", cause you might get some free traffic from all those ohhhhh's and aaahhhh's :D
     
    kmofo, Aug 17, 2010 IP
  17. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #17
    Search engines algorithms:
    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 23, 2010 IP
  18. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #18
    And some link baiting:

    [​IMG]
     
    kmofo, Aug 24, 2010 IP
  19. theemerchant

    theemerchant Guest

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    #19
    Lightbulbs provide light when switched on by light bulb wall switchings. Light bulbs often are included with free lighbulbs in house upon purchase. Ur cheap ligghbulbings will last long time such is good quality light bulb. lol!
     
    theemerchant, Aug 24, 2010 IP
  20. kmofo

    kmofo Active Member

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    #20
    Every time you abuse HTML for SEO, a Web designer dies. Please think of the Web designers.



    Q: How do you tell an introverted SEO from an extroverted SEO?
    A: An extroverted SEO looks at YOUR shoes when he talks to you.
     
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2010
    kmofo, Aug 25, 2010 IP