I have seen some websites which automatically manage link building. If you submit your website they will check instantly whether you have place their link on your website then they will include your website in listing. And they check in future as well if you have maintained it or not. So do you have that kind of script? or what is it?
View the source code on this iste and see if it suits you: http://www.myhealthreporter.com/directory/submit.php
phplinkdirectory.com is indeed great. I am sure there must be a way to do automatic approval if that is what you need.
Personally I wouldn't get hung up on forced reciprocal linking, in fact I would steer away from it. Great resources gain backlinks, and get linked to automatically. My rugby forum for instance has so far today placed inks to about 6 or so directory sub pages that are relevant to the discussion. Build a damn good resource, let people know about it, and you will get backlinks.
Thank You Oh forgot to mention here. I found exactly this website last night and are now trying to install. It seems Ok. but i think there must be some email option so that we can email after approving + email of confirmation that we have received your link request.