I started this thread not to heart any sardar's feelings but just only and only for entertainment, If some one get hearted then sorry.----------------------------------------------------------------------- A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules here in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must an swer two questions: 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many seconds are there in a year? The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though its not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- # Santa and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Patiyala to New Delhi. The lawyer asks if he would like to play a fun game. Santa, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me fifty rupees, and vice versa." Again, Santa declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me Rs. 50, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you Rs. 5000." This catches Santa's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" Santa doesn't say a word, reaches into his purse, pulls out a Rs. 50 bill, and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay," says the lawyer, "your turn." Santa asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes back with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references ... no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress ... no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail. After an hour, he wakes Santa and hands him Rs. 5000. Santa thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, stirs Santa and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, Santa reaches into his purse, hands the lawyer Rs. 50, and goes back to sleep. And you thought Sardars were dumb. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- NASA was getting ready to launch a very important space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked and double checked everything to make sure that things are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise but never took off even an inch from the ground. The engineers were puzzled because they could not figure out the problem. Finally, there was an Sardar who offered to help. They NASA people were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything. "Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right" said the Indian scientist. The engineers were puzzled but did it anyway. "Bring it back to vertical position" the Sardar said. The engineers did. "Now start the engines" he said. And surprise, the rocket took off and flew into outer space! Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew what to do. He replied - "It is very simple. This is what we always do with our scooters in India ". ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Santa Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidently,the photograph fell down from his pocket.He started searching for it frantically & found it on the floor, below the ends of a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph" He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital. He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied" I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay". He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied," I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay". He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?". The Owner asked, "WHY?????????" Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night....." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- # Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. Oye, I am only following the instructions - 'Answer in brief'. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- There were two sardars, Zail singh & Jarnail singh. Both of them bought a horse each. "How will we know which is your & which is mine?" asked Zail. "Easy"replied Jarnail. "I'll cut mine's tail,yours will be the one with tail" This was heard by a few boys ,they cut the other's tail too. Next morning the confusion continued. "Don't worry "retorted Jarnail. "I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell." The boys heard this also & cut the bell. The next day, Zail got frustrated & said "Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- BEPPO SINGH QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE. Friend: What are you looking at? Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? Beppo Singh: four asterisks!(****) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child." -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok letme add something more for our sardarji here. This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we find some problems which I want to bring to your notice. After connecting to internet we plan to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in password column only ******comes, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed comes, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password ***** but I request you to check this as ourselves we do not know what is the password. We are unable to enter anything after we click the shut down button. There is a button 'start' but there is no stop button.We request you to check this. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar. So, we request you to change that to sit so that we can click that by sitting.One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.Also there is 'find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this 'find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? Thanks, Banta Singh
cool but u could have omitted sardarji from u r jokes . u dont need a sardarji to target u r joke no hard feeling
Hello Guys Banta called his friend Santa and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, Send her some flowers and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal. Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, It was a flop idea. Santa, Didn’t the girl come to your house? Banta, She did, but she refused to cook!