Hi, Can anyone take a look at my sales copy on www.globalextremewealth.com I don't expect it to be handed to me on a plate, just would be interested in your feedback. Many thanks
Hi I am sorry to say that I wasn't too impressed with what I read. There are good points to what you have written, but there are a lot of mistakes that need rectifying before trying to sell. People will not be impressed if they come to your site and see so many grammatical and spelling mistakes. I am using UK English though and not American so maybe that is the difference, but I have tried to show you certain aspects where you could improve. I think if you are serious you need to pay someone to edit and change some of the words so it will be a lot more effective to customers. Remember selling is all about emotion if you can capture emotion in the customer then you will be on your way to convincing someone to buy. I spent hundreds of hours I have spent many hours to much money to talk about Too Wow, I was amazed at how quick money came rushing in! I was sceptical at first, but after using globalextremewealth.com system I quickly realised it would bring me a massive income. I was making profit in a couple of hours!" I was amazed at how quickly money came rushing in! Although I was sceptical at first, the Globalextremewealth.com system has put a lot of money in my bank. Kayleigh, England A dummy could use this system it so simple! A dummy could use this system it is so simple! My secrets has never been revealed until NOW! My secret has never been revealed until NOW! It is not surprising why the Globalextremewealth.com systeme is so popular . It is not surprising why the Globalextremewealth.com system is so popular
It's not that different from a thousand other sites selling similar things. The hook needs to be an idea you didn't pull from a swipe file. In other words, you need to give your product some personality. There's not much in the way of credibility either. And the fact that English is not your first language will stop some people. You basically have a working outline at this point. But it needs to be taken several steps past this point to work well for you.
Thank you very much for the comments. I will do as you suggested. I have spent lots of time on the product and not too much time on the site. I appreciate your help.
I have changed the grammatical errors, that you mentioned and also some others i found. I am going to have a think about how i can change the site to make it more unique. Thanks again