A great deal of newsprint and television air time has been spent on the issue of what to do with the American/Mexican Border. The far left wants to open the border completely and allow a flood of Mexicans to cross unimpeded into California lettuce fields. The far right wants to station the 4th ID on the North Bank of the Rio Grande with the rule of engagement being: "If it moves, light it up!" Both sides are equally wrong. I offer the following Modest Proposal. The fault lies not with the Mexicans crossing the border nor with the Border Patrol catching a few illegals and letting a great many more make their way to Los Angeles Schools and Phoenix Hospital Delivery Rooms. The fault lies with the INS policy of repariating Mexicans that are captured by the Border Patrol and not hunting down the majority who escape into the interior. In either case, repatriation or escape, the INS is directly and solely responsible for wasting a perfectly good labor force that could be put to a greatly productive use. Estimates of Mexicans currently living illegally in the United States range as high as 9 Million. An estimated 1.5 Million cross the border illegally each year. Border patrol claims to capture and repatriate a quarter of a million a year. By my math we have a potential labor force of 10 3/4 million for fiscal 2006 available for work. Now, here's my plan. We set the 10 3/4 million Mexicans currently available to work digging a one mile wide, 2500 foot deep trench between the Gulf of Mexico and the Pacific on our side of the border. For my Dummycrat friends, that's 5.375 million pickin' and 5.375 million shovelin'. That's a greater work force than the Chineese had building the Great Wall and we also have the advantage of case hardened steel picks and shovels. We know from history the job can get done. I calculate that one Mexican can move two cubic feet of dirt every hour, and if that's correct, we should have the trench completed on March 4th, 2056. Once we punch through the last few feet of soil on both the Gulf and Pacific sides, the trench will fill with water and we have --A CANAL! Yep the TexMex Canal will trim better than 4,000 miles off the Panama Canal Route. Canal Fees will be fixed at 0.5% of the wholesale value of the cargo on board which should generate slightly in excess of 1.2 trillion dollars a year in income or 600 times the Mexican economy exclusive of dope sales. We split even Steven with the Mexicans but we don't give the money to Vicente Fox. Nope, we give the dough directly to the Mexican people. And how do we do this? We just have Social Security mail each and every one of them a check. After all, when you want to give money away with no regard for where or who it came from go straight to the experts at Social Security. Each Mexican will be required to show up at a Border Patrol Station on the Mexican Side of the Canal to register for his or her check and the only requirement to register is that you have a Mexican mailing address. In other words, we pay them to stay home. I borrowed this concept from AFDC. Who says Thugs can't be flexible? In order to round up our 9 million illegals we need to offer a bounty of $5000 per illegal delivered to the job site. The bounty money is already funded. It's sitting in the Farm Subsidy Bill passed in 2005 by Congress. Even agribusiness can figure out it's more profitable to get $362.27 a pound for a farm worker than 79 cents for a head of lettuce. Caesar Chavez and his Farm Worker's Union will no doubt have some objections based on "worker dislocation" and the corresponding need for worker re-training. He has a point. Therefore, each illegal should be given a 90 day training seminar in the Phoenix Tent Jail, wearing a pink jump suit. That should take care of it. I expect some objections to be raised by Californians who will see lettuce prices rise to $48 a head and drive the price of an avacado up to $112 each. To meet this objection we need only point out how good San Franciscans feel about paying $165,000 for a condo overlooking the Bay for a Street Person to inhabit while downing his quart of Ripple purchased by City Funds and they'll wholeheartedly support our new effort to make them feel good about themselves. Congress will be more than willing to pass enabling legislation when we offer to call it the FDRTMC (Franklin Delano Roosevelt TexMex Canal) and point out that the Canal is merely a 21st Century WPA Program. Our slogan is: "If it's good enough for Americans it's more than good enough for Mexicans." The slogan ensures the support of the Neo Nazi's in Skokie. To raise additional revenue for the project we'll have Willie Nelson give monthly Canal Aid Concets in Austin and BS give nightly "Evening With Barbara" political lectures at NYU. We'll build four "Viewing Resort Hotels" overlooking the Big Dig to allow Tom Cruise and Nick Nolte to come and luxuriate while seeing for themselves the wonderful things we're doing for the poor and downtroden. Hollywood will love it. After we've pumped 0.6 Trillion annually into the Mexican Economy all we have to do is stand back and watch the Mexican economy grow exponentially. In short we will have created a new customer for American Industry. We can let them buy some of the Fords, Chevys, and washing machines we're currently letting them assemble for us. The 10 3/4 million trained canal builders can get busy building canals to irrigate the Mexican arid interior where an abundance of lettuce and avacados can be grown -- and sold to Californians. As you can see, my friends, I've come up with the perfect plan to cure our Southern Border Problem. I've carefully worked out every detail, except one: What to do when the Mexicans build a fence on their side of the Canal to keep American Dummycrats out of Mexico. The ingrates! A Right Wing Thug --- Butch
Well, all I can say is that I agree with you on the overall picture. Get the millions of illegals the hell out of the US. This is not just aimed at Hispanics, but every other immigrant from any country who is in the US illegally. I'm personally against all immigration unless you have technical skills which can benefit the US. Illegals drive down the wages and cost Americans jobs in addition to outsourcing, and the only people who benefit from illegal immigration are the big corporations who hire illegals under the table for dirt cheap prices, with no health insurance.
lol... that was some good reading. You have that all worked out quite well. Thanks for the post. Sure made me laugh...