====> Review Salespage Please! <====

Discussion in 'Reviews' started by ludovic115, Dec 11, 2009.

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  1. #1
    Hi guys,

    I just have a thing for asking questions all the time regarding a topic. Even, if I were a high authority in a field, I would still ask questions... With the many copywriting talents that differentiate throughout this forum, I would like to know, if anyone can offer suggestions to my salespage.

    It would be mostly appreciated.

    Thanks, and all the best
    -Ludovic

    Salespage ===> Private Label Rights
     
    ludovic115, Dec 11, 2009 IP
  2. averyz

    averyz Well-Known Member

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    #2
    The HUGE, RED.. font was enough to make me leave the first 3 seconds the entire page looked like a gigantic piece of junk mail.

    Sorry I.. my eyes my eyes hurt.
     
    averyz, Dec 11, 2009 IP
  3. lenlatimer

    lenlatimer Peon

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    #3
    I don't see the point of "Warning". You're just scaring people off.
    Hit them right away with a benefit.
    Why should I believe its limited and exclusive - I didn't get there by special invitation.
    I don't think many people would believe 50 products a month - even so, they would
    be overwhelmed.

    I don't see the point of the logos - ie Windows, Word, MP3
    Why don't you have your video autostart?

    I'd say you don't need a 2nd paragraph between your headline (which you should change) and your video.
    You need it higher.

    Good luck.
     
    lenlatimer, Dec 11, 2009 IP
  4. in7

    in7 Peon

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    #4
    Definitely fix that first paragraph. It has too many features: big text, highlighted text, underlined text, black text. Also, the first sentence lacks readability:WARNING! You've Just Landed On A Very Limited and Exclusive Offer That Will Allow You to Instantly Profit 100% From,..... From what? Maybe it's just me, but I had to read that over again slowly to get what it meant. The distracting text features don't help this.

    Now, I do not want to be a complete critic, so I will say that I like the rest of the site. It's just that first headline I have a problem with.

    I hope this helps.
     
    in7, Dec 12, 2009 IP
  5. lightless

    lightless Notable Member

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    #5
    The image under the subtitle is useless and contributes to the "Noise" and "Crowdedness" at the top. As does the following, as in7 pointed out.

     
    lightless, Dec 12, 2009 IP
  6. sagive

    sagive Member

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    #6
    well, i c from time to time those kind of designs
    i think that it works for you meaning surfers react
    to at then stay with it

    otherwise (if you see a short visit time) change
    it to a shorter page with navigation capabilities


    good luck
    Sagive
     
    sagive, Dec 12, 2009 IP