Review on loophole site

Discussion in 'Websites' started by delrivo, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. #1
    Hi

    Im looking for any suggestions for my site http://www.cashloopholes.co.uk

    Its not converting very well at all. Im not very good at righting sales pages so it might be an idea for me to pay someone to do a decent job.

    Any suggestions are greatly appreciated

    Thanks very much
     
    delrivo, Nov 21, 2005 IP
  2. webinv

    webinv Peon

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    #2
    1. Way too much red. Run Away my eyes hurt!

    2. Why do you have everything centered? It looks messy.

    3. At the very least add a border to your table or find a good free website template that looks professional.

    4. Add some customer testimonials if you have them.

    -Jon
     
    webinv, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  3. theyoungpretender

    theyoungpretender Guest

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    #3
    1 thing which would make it a little better imho if you were to add the background you have at the bottom to the rest of the page,or same background but play with the colours a little.

    Best of luck.
     
    theyoungpretender, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  4. Dekker

    Dekker Peon

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    #4
    It's way too messy.
     
    Dekker, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  5. delrivo

    delrivo Guest

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    #5
    Thanks for your comments. Any more suggestions to make it better
     
    delrivo, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  6. homeofficeblues

    homeofficeblues Peon

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    #6
    You really need to turn off centering. Everything except perhaps headings should be left justified.

    You also need to edit the text for grammar and spelling. I caught quite a few spelling mistakes.

    The whole prospect seems rather shifty and untrustworthy. Your testimonials seem fake, because they have the same grammar and spelling mistakes that the rest of the content has.

    Even though you say these will work in the USA, your domain name will likely deter most US buyers.

    Work on design, editing and credibility and you may have something.

    Good luck.
     
    homeofficeblues, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  7. delrivo

    delrivo Guest

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    #7
    Thank you very much homeofficeblues, some great advice.

    Im currently looking for someone who can re-write my sales page if anybody has any recomendations.
     
    delrivo, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  8. Dekker

    Dekker Peon

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    #8
    Dekker, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  9. delrivo

    delrivo Guest

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    #9
    Can you please email me through this forum. I am very intereted in your offer
     
    delrivo, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  10. smashingjay

    smashingjay Peon

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    #10
    • Don't use underlining for anything but links. It looks like your page is covered in links and they are not clickable.
    • Lose the centering. It is hard to read and your aren't writing poetry
    • Get a dotcom. Americans like to see it. In fact I would make a whole second site dedicated to only the US market and a seperate one for the UK it will speak more directly at the American visitor instead of some "foreigner" telling them what to do.
    Take a look at http://marketingforsuccess.com to see an example of how to do this kind of page right.

    All the best,

    Jay
     
    smashingjay, Nov 22, 2005 IP
  11. delrivo

    delrivo Guest

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    #11
    Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions.

    I have tried to take everything into acount and i have changed some of my site.

    Could you please take another look and any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you
     
    delrivo, Nov 23, 2005 IP
  12. smartmindmedia

    smartmindmedia Peon

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    #12
    I like the idea, but personally I don't want to read and read to find out what the site is offering. I think graphical options like flash to make points are better. People don't want to spend 10 mins reading a lot of stuff.
    Good Luck
     
    smartmindmedia, Nov 23, 2005 IP
  13. smashingjay

    smashingjay Peon

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    #13
    Common misconceptions are abound of whether or not people will actually read the content of long scrolling pages. In fact, there are many examples where if the person is interested in the message and the message is sufficiently compelling, the right people will read the message. The some of them will act on this. Remember, we are not attempting to get all people to buy but those who want this product to buy it.

    This long page method has been tested and works. What makes it work though is compelling behavior oriented copywriting. This page definitely requires the touch of a professional copywriter.

    In addition to a copywriter it needs to be said that you should be offering multiple buy buttons throughout the page content so that the prospect doesn't have to work hard to find it. This can also be used in conjunction with a hidden form field to track which buy buttons are being clicked the most and on what page.

    Tracking this sort of information could help move the related message up further onto the page and get earlier responses.

    All the best,

    Jay
     
    smashingjay, Nov 23, 2005 IP
  14. webinv

    webinv Peon

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    #14
    Okay, the site is STARTING to look a little better.

    Why did you still end the table short only to have everything below, "Still not convinced?" outside of the table?

    Then your table at the very bottom is a different color. It looks like you just pieced bits and pieces together and they do not quite mesh right.

    Here is an example of everything WITHIN the table to make it look like a complete site....

    http://webmasterinvestments.com/

    -Jon
     
    webinv, Nov 23, 2005 IP
  15. delrivo

    delrivo Guest

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    #15
    Totaly changed the site so any more comments are greatly appreciated. Making more sales now so done something right.
     
    delrivo, Dec 6, 2005 IP
  16. webinv

    webinv Peon

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    #16
    Congrats! You now have a complete working sales page that doesn't look like little bits and pieces squished together.


    Suggestion:

    The text "PURE GOLD" needs to be a darker yellow. It is hard to read.

    It might help if you put QUOTES around the headline as such...

    "Discover how an ordinary guy stumbled upon some of the GREATEST LEGAL government and casino LOOPHOLES that ANYONE can take advantage of RIGHT NOW!"

    Good job.

    -Jon
     
    webinv, Dec 6, 2005 IP
  17. delrivo

    delrivo Guest

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    #17
    Thanks jon, much apreciated.

    Any more suggestions?
     
    delrivo, Dec 6, 2005 IP
  18. smashingjay

    smashingjay Peon

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    #18
    Let us know how this site does. Are you doing any PPC with variations on the copy?

    All the best,

    Jay
     
    smashingjay, Dec 6, 2005 IP
  19. chawlars

    chawlars Well-Known Member

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    #19
    I think it is too long a page, I get many mailers in junk mail, and i got tendency to delete them.
    I suggest give some clues on scheme, customer testimonials.

    Visit for Travel Experiences
     
    chawlars, Dec 6, 2005 IP
  20. homeofficeblues

    homeofficeblues Peon

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    #20
    Wow! You've come a long way.

    I agree with Jon that "Real Gold" should be a darker gold. I don't agree with the quotation marks. Quotation Marks should only be used when you are quoting someone.

    Did you get a dot com domain for the American audience? How is your site doing with customers outside of the UK?

    Cheers!
     
    homeofficeblues, Dec 14, 2005 IP