Yeah I don't want to judge for him or judge him. It's his personal choice. I just mean in general I don't think it's a healthy thing. A crucial part of growing up and maturing(and I mean mainly 20s here) is having serious relationships and breaking up. Breaking up teaches you how to deal with adversity and it's normal and healthy to experience those awful feelings, they give you experience to help you deal with things emotionally in the future. So serious relationships before marriage I think better equip you to navigate the inevitable rough waters of a marriage. And for most people a serious relationship includes sex as part of its definition. Someone who is a virgin and getting married is about to commit their life to someone without ever really experiencing one of the most profound connections to another human that is possible. I have to believe that this is disadvantageous.
Well, I personally am not ashamed of my premarital escapades but I do see the same shallowness you are talking about ping and that was pretty much my concern. If someone chooses to abstain that doesn't harm anyone. The cheapening of sexuality seems to be very harmful to me. I would think the stats on teen pregnancy could be considered evidence of that. I don't like seeing kids having kids they can't take care of and are not prepared for. Or getting pressured into sex acts they aren't ready for out of peer pressure or self imposed pressures based on cultural stereotypes they got from watching too much tv. That said, go get married, wives are great.
This is exactly what logixflux doesnt understand and I like you see these things as part of a larger reason why society is teh way it is. Earthfaze actually i respect you more then myself because you went through the experiences and came out with a greater wisdom and understanding of sex is cheapened these days. Some people still see breaking up and having those escapades as a learning experience. True love should never be cheapened with sex. Sex should be the end product of the foundation of what true love represents.
On the other hand you've never experienced one of the most profound bonds that can exist between two humans because sex is a big part of forging that bond. You will go into a marriage with your training wheels still on.
Sex is the final part of it. You are just sounding out what society has been teaching you to believe. There is a difference between love making and sex. My parents were both virgins when they got married and i so far havent heard my parents complain one time about this area in 44 years of marriage. Your looking at it in a very shallow and extrinsic way my friend. When you should be looking inward for the answer. True love and sex starts from within and eminates outward not starts from outside-in. Your thinking exactly like hollywood. Your right about the training wheels thing, this is why my sister in law says she was very lucky to have married a virgin. I guess she needs a therapist also? Yea I think so because she must be crazy to be happy in 15+ years of marriage witha guy that still had his training wheels on loooooooooool., and they ask me why we have a 65% divorce rate today? When i experience my bond with my wife it will be with her soul first and with her body second and I wont complain about how she or I will be so inexperienced that we must divorce each other because the foundation(sex) of our marriage doesnt hold the experience of going through many short term premarital relationships.
Neither love nor sex is necessary for a happy and fulfilling existence. They may be desirable, but are purely optional. Unless you deem it mandatory for every human to procreate. We aren't animals anymore that we must procreate due to the pressure of primitive instincts, but something better.
If I were that type of person I would not be an agnostic/atheist. It's a good thing. Hearing your parents talk about their sex life alone would warrant 5 or 6 years of therapy. This is like a pilot trying to teach a bird to fly. In fact you're the one who is going off all kinds of assumptions or is going off of things that were taught to you. I have had sex. I know what kind of effects the experience has on a person and on a relationship. There is no other activity humans can share that has the same bonding effects. This is much more true for women, but even for men who are in love there is nothing else that will cause some of the emotions that having sex with someone you love will or that will cause you to experience certain emotions. There simply are emotions that you have not experienced yet. Remember, christians have a higher divorce if we're honest and don't arbitrarily redefine marriage as simply living together. Sex is a crucial part of forging an intimate bond that brings about emotions and experiences that are not really attainable through other means. But that doesn't mean that sex in the foundation. I never said that. You're coming at the argument with a preconceived set of assumptions and notions, as usual. This additional "toolbox" of emotions and experience that you don't have could be a reason why the (honest)polls show that atheists have lower divorce rates. This is assuming that atheists do indeed have more premarital sex, which is not safe to assume. You seem to be a person of conviction. When you get married it will likely last if for no other reason out of plain stubbornness. But it won't be a healthier, happy marriage on account of you waiting.
If you don't want the divorce rate so high, please consult with your fellow christians to help bring down the national average. Once you bring your side down to a reasonable rate, atheists will attempt to work on theirs. Deal?
If many christians followed their faith then the divorce rate wouldnt be so high because they would then put the effort to save this most precious union between a man and a woman. You also make a good point, i know i can try to hold my end of the bargain, dont know about others because we have never had a divorce in our family and cant even fathom that word.
Well you're the majority of said christians in the world have had sex before marriage, the "40 year old virgin" wasn't popular because being a 40 year old version is normal.
rub3x, whoever said virginity is about popularity has to be crazy. Its about commitment, its about believing in something and not backing down even when you have to go against the grain of society for your beliefs.Im not gonna lie and say its easy but its what I believe in. I never enforce my morals or ethics on my friends and that is why we get along so well.
On a side note "Promise Rings" don't seem to actually work! Ok, I am faking surprise. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/28/AR2008122801588.html It says that promise ring kids are just as likely to get pregnant and less likely to use a condom.
"Its about commitment" You can be committed/love someone before you bang them, still don't have to marry them.
True but at least in stats the commitment in a christian relationship is marriage. In an etheist relationship its either marriage or cohabitation. The stats show that in any atheist relationship whether its marriage or cohabitation its an 82% breakup rate. Of course its also pretty high in a christian relationship but there are many more factors to motivate you to stay together. In cohabitation its very easy to leave your partner as there is no spiritual contract or legal concerns. The temptation is to find the the grass that is greener on the other side. EarthFaze, as far as promise rings its basically a business scam to me. You cant commit your virginity for your parents. At first when i was going to high school and saw all the problems my friends went through with their short term relationships it made common sense to me to wait for the right feeling that would last through all of that BS. To me, i saw kids that were just getting used to the pattern of short term relationships that permiated into their marriage life later on and that is why i believe we have a 65% divorce rate. Why put up with an imperfect marriage when you can just dump the old model and get a new one that will just please you. When you struggle and stay in the committed marriage together through thick and thin, the love and trust will naturally grow because you know that no matter what happens, you will always be there for your wife and she will always be there for you. It then becomes marriage that is built upon a solid foundation that wont crack under pressure. As far as christian marriages are concerned, as I said before anyone can yell "lord lord" but like anything that you believe in, you need hard work and commitment to stay strong, and most importantly in anything you do in life you cant start out any relationship with hidden intentions. For instance if you had to manipulate your future wife from her current boyfriend that future marriage will fail because its built on something(darkness) other than love .
You christians are really the only one to care about staying together. Staying with someone you don't like is absolutely a retarded idea. Hence we move in fuck etc try each other out before we commit to marriage. I only bring this thread up because you think that switching partners is the end of the world. If the bible teaches you to stay with one person, I guess it also potentially teaches you to be miserable your entire life as well?
Why should we stay miserable for the rest of our lives? Most breakups are caused by one or the other side not yielding and staying stubborn. 65% divorce rates werent always the norm in civilization. True love isnt about living a fairy tale your whole life. You have a long courtship, get to know each other, be honest about what you both want out of the marriage then prepare to go through the good times and the bad times. Whats not normal are those 6 month marriages . Whats not normal are kids growing up without a mom and dad. Whats not normal is seeing a kid crave for teh attention of 2 parents. That to me is crazy.
Why's it any of your business how long people stay together? Who are you to judge other people? Leave that up to your magical friend, buddy.
Im not judging anyone RUB, its funny how your coming down on someone for responding with facts to a thread made by other atheists who started about how funny religious abstinance is. "Judge not lest yea by judged , for you yourself will be judged upon which the standards that you apply to others" I think atheists use bible quotes against christians so many times that they forget that its a hypocritical double standard unless they practice what they preach.
Seeing as how you claim an 82% divorce rate for atheists, I'd say it's you who is being extremely dishonest and taking fudging the facts to a whole new level. Anyways enjoy your fairytale life, just had sex 3 or 4 times within the last few hours and it's only 6am