Hey all As the subject implies I've just today finished making some big changes to my Clickbank product sales page for A.S.A.Piano. Although I've made some modest sales in the last 3 or so months I'm convinced that my product has real value and I've had only positive feedback from customers who have bought, so I decided that the lack of sales was due to the sales letter. I'd be really grateful for any feedback, good or bad on the current page. Many thanks www.asapiano.com
I would change the headline. 7 Weeks is a long time and speaks of a large commitment to learn the course. You should downplay the time required and play up the instant gratification element in your sales copy. People want fast and easy results, not a 7 week full blown course.
Thanks for your reply. That's interesting and has made me think...how about I focus on 1 song as opposed to the full repertoire in that headline then? So maybe: In Just Two Hours From Now You Could Be Playing One Of These Twelve Classic Songs on Piano By Ear, Even If You Are a Complete Beginner: ..or something like that?
Well, does it really take only two hours to learn the song? If it doesn't.... I wouldn't put in a time estimate, period. Perhaps, "In a very short time, learn...." Perhaps have a few more videos. Have one on you playing a song. You show yourself as an example on how they can play just like you in a short time. If you haven't already, search for forums on this subject and ask aspiring piano players.
There are more than a few fatal errors taking place on this sales page. To be perfectly honest with you - a major rewrite is in order, preferably starting over from scratch. Send me an email... / I'll give you a few pointers to push you in the right direction. Best, Mark Andrews...
A "major rewrite"??? Not even close. If anybody's site needs a rewrite.... shayman1, your site does need a few changes, but, coming from a REAL copywriter, it is nothing serious. I would venture to guess it is better than a lot of the sites out there. Check out music boards, blogs, stores for critique.
Okay, I'm calling you out Perry, I'm getting sick and tired of seeing you constantly on the attack against the professional judgement of other posters. You constantly take the piss, ridiculing others incessantly. Why is it your name is not recognised as a professional copywriter on any copywriting forum online? Want me to tell you? It's because you're nothing more than a dreary hack, who knows next to nothing about the subject yet you still go around doing your darned best to ruin other people's reputation online. Stop it right now.
Uh-huh. *waves at the "copywriter" shayman1, here's a board you might find useful. http://www.bigroadblues.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=11 But, to repeat, you do not need major changes! Good luck with it.
Ouch! I wasn't quite expecting to start a fight, but I appreciate the passion shown..and the advice too! Please don't fall out though..you both are entitled to your opinions aren't you and that's the value you bring Well yes, someone could be playing a song in that time...maybe not like Elton John, but they could be playing the basics yes. The videos are very easy to follow and Samantha is a good teacher. Now I'm not saying that sections of the copy wouldn't benefit from being rewritten either, that's why I've posted on this forum, but 'major rewrite' does sound a little heavy? I've compared it to the 2 established competitors in the field and also used elements that they use too, so is it really so far off?? I suppose the next few days will give some indication...the beauty of the web is that nothing id set in stone is it, so I may yet have to go for a total rewrite!!
If you do, then you will get ripped off. Go slow! Make sure the kind of traffic you bring in is GENUINE.
Hey Shayman, I'm not trying to throw salt on Mark Andrews or his professional opinion, but IMHO you don't need a major rewrite. However, your salespage can use a little more work for sure. I think you can also add a couple of more elements to the page. First you should add in answers to objections the prospects will have. This is called "shutting doors." Since you aren't face to face with them, if your prospect has any objection to buying your product right now they most likely will not buy. So you need to think of all of the reasons someone wouldn't want to buy it right now and address that in your salescopy. Also you should make the price seem as small as possible. Tell them that $27 is less than a $1 a day, and a single one hour piano lesson would cost a XX amount. Compare your program to them having to pay for expensive piano lessons offline so it makes your program seem even more valuable. The final thing that you should add in would be some emotional triggers. People usually buy based on the emotions they feel your product or service will let them experience. So ask yourself why do people really want to learn how to play piano? Is it just so they can press keys on a box and hear music or is there something more? I'm willing to bet that people interested in learning how to play piano are looking for ways that they can entertain others and gain admiration and respect of people. We see it all the time in Hollywood, where the hansom piano-man seduces the woman with his charm and his amazing skill at the instrument. Play to these aspects of why people really want to learn how to play piano in your copy and identify your product with being able to provide those emotional experiences to your prospects. I hope this helps
Whatever a few 'unknowns' claim above, I'm afraid it does require quite a major rewrite and I hold firm to that opinion. You are making some very fatal errors with the way this is presently worded, an untrained eye wouldn't be able to spot these unintentional mistakes. I will congratulate you though on taking action to get this far and for that, a very big well done. Take my hat off to you and applaud your effort. Still... Look, any decent copywriter, any professional copywriter wants to see a client or anyone for that matter do well. It hurts when advice is just cast asunder as having very little meaning. What hurts even more so is knowing that your profits will hurt badly, if you listen too much to a few of the amatuers here, taking their supposed wisdom or lack there of onboard. I've personally generated a 6 figure return in less than a week with my copywriting for clients and I'm telling you again, you are making one or two glaring mistakes with the copy, in it's present form. If you really want some of the best minds in the business giving you a positive critique, head over to the http://www.CopywritingBoard.com There you'll get to meet some of the best copywriting minds available...who charge anywhere from a couple thousand bucks to tens of thousands of dollars, for their written sales letters. Why do they / can they charge so much money? Because through years of practive they have professional copywriting down to a tee, they're not pretenders playing at the game. The copywriters there on that forum have generated sales figures in the millions of millions of dollars. Head on over or send a pm to me and I'll give you some advice. Best, Mark Andrews...
Really? Huh. Name them. Translation: PM me so I can sell you stuff you really don't need. Jesus. ... Shayman, just send this guy an e-mail already, just to shut him up.
I'm kind of at a loss with this post now? Firstly it got moved and I got told off by the moderator which I'm still not 100% sure why?? Plus I seem to have evoked some pretty strong, conflicting opinions. I like the idea of making a list of objections and working through them, i.e 'shutting doors', that's going to be my next move I think. I would pay for someone's services with this, but it is something that interests me immensely, I'm not in any particular rush so I'd like to learn more about what I'm doing. I do appreciate everyone's input though. Shayman
According to me your sales page is perfect and I like the way you have arranged contents on your sales page. Good work