1. Advertising
    y u no do it?

    Advertising (learn more)

    Advertise virtually anything here, with CPM banner ads, CPM email ads and CPC contextual links. You can target relevant areas of the site and show ads based on geographical location of the user if you wish.

    Starts at just $1 per CPM or $0.10 per CPC.

Reasons to get Kids

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Dataster, May 11, 2017.

  1. #1
    As I've crossed the magical line of 30 years, more and more people are expecting from me to become a father.
    SEMrush
    However, until now nobody could give me a valid reason to become one. So, what are the best reasons to get children? Why is a life with kids better than without them?

    Try to convince me!
     
    Dataster, May 11, 2017 IP
    SEMrush
  2. sarahk

    sarahk iTamer Staff

    Messages:
    23,214
    Likes Received:
    3,116
    Best Answers:
    80
    Trophy Points:
    615
    #2
    lol, you either want them or you don't. If you need to be convinced then you don't.

    Kids are inconvenient and expensive.

    I love mine and once you perceive them as people (they exert their own personalities suprisingly quickly) you would never turn back time. However I look at my sister's life of overseas holidays and adventures, career progression etc and it's hard not be a bit envious.

    I don't know how it is in Germany but in New Zealand, our kids are pretty much export commodities. The good ones all travel overseas for work and life experience and a significant number don't make it home. I know that I can't expect my kids to look after me when I'm old because the chance of them living in the same city is very low - and I know some cultures sell the idea of having kids so that you get looked after later.
     
    sarahk, May 11, 2017 IP
  3. Dataster

    Dataster Greenhorn

    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    2
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    13
    #3
    Haha, what a funny coincidence that you're from New Zealand.

    I've lived in Auckland for a while and made the experience that Kiwis are SO much more relaxed with their kids than here we are in Germany.
    Actually, in NZ I kinda thought "Hm.. maybe it's not SO bad to get kids."

    In Germany, people hate kids, because they are noisy, dirty, inefficient and emotional. Quite the contrary of a typical German. That's why the environment is not very child-friendly or child-oriented...
    It's not a big question why we have one of the lowest birth rates in the world...
     
    Dataster, May 11, 2017 IP
    sarahk likes this.
  4. Simon Baker

    Simon Baker Greenhorn

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    3
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    13
    #4
    When I make them smile, I smile. Easier to find happiness in others than one's self.
    Having kids can actually make one a happier person all assuming one's not an irresponsible self centered ill-bred piece of sh*t.
     
    Simon Baker, May 12, 2017 IP
    sarahk likes this.
  5. jrbiz

    jrbiz Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    3,694
    Likes Received:
    1,438
    Best Answers:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    420
    #5
    Great question. @sarahk is right in that they are expensive and inconvenient. They are also a great source of stress and worry. There is an ingrained/chemical thing going on with my feelings of responsibility and love for them and they have enriched my life in some ways. They have definitely made me be less centered on my own life and desires because they insist on precedence and, to be honest, that is a good thing as it changes one's perspective on things.

    That said, I have seen some parents who take it way too far and live vicariously through their children and I think that is taking it too far and does not benefit the child. Those folks would be at a great loss without their children to live for and through.

    My (admittedly sexist) observation is that it is the woman in the marriage that often feels the need to have children (as part of her biological destiny) and a lot of men just go along with that choice which can be a valid reason for doing so early on ("happy wife = happy life") That said, do I regret having children? No. Would I take that path again? Probably.
     
    jrbiz, May 12, 2017 IP
    sarahk likes this.
  6. PoPSiCLe

    PoPSiCLe Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    4,547
    Likes Received:
    706
    Best Answers:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    420
    #6
    I'm 38, I have no children, and I never plan on having any (if I can help it). I have a dog. That is inconvenient enough, but at least I can make the dog obey me. Children, in general, is to me only an inconvenience and expense - I don't even like kids. They're noisy and unruly, and completely useless (I abhor stupidity, and children are stupid, 99% of the time).

    I have no need for kids, but, if I ever wanted them, men are, in general, able to father kids almost their entire life, barred medical problems preventing fertile semen. So why anyone would bother you because you've passed 30, is not really understandable.
     
    PoPSiCLe, May 12, 2017 IP
  7. qwikad.com

    qwikad.com Prominent Member Affiliate Manager

    Messages:
    5,083
    Likes Received:
    946
    Best Answers:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    350
    #7
    Pop is right. I was 43 when our daughter (my first child) was born. When I was 30 I didn't want to get married, I thought I'd never get married. Enjoy your singleness while you can. You can always get married. It can happen really fast. Me and my wife dated for about 3 months before we got married.



     
    qwikad.com, May 12, 2017 IP
  8. Alexandre Laramée

    Alexandre Laramée Member

    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    9
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    43
    #8
    Ouch, first of all it has to come from you. Please don't make kids if you feel pressured into it by others loll. That will not necessarily make you happier just because!
     
    Alexandre Laramée, May 12, 2017 IP
  9. tel_E_v1s0r

    tel_E_v1s0r Greenhorn

    Messages:
    36
    Likes Received:
    1
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    8
    #9
    If u dont want kids u dont need it. If you are forced to have children, the decision already depends on your attitude towards the person who makes you.
     
    tel_E_v1s0r, May 12, 2017 IP
  10. Dataster

    Dataster Greenhorn

    Messages:
    23
    Likes Received:
    2
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    13
    #10
    Wow, guys. Thanks a lot for the replies! :)

    This is actually a good reason. The wonderful thing about children is, that they cherish so many small things. They romanticize the world.

    Would you say that the stress and worry about yourself gets pushed to the back of your mind? Or do the worries simply stack up, but the worries about your kids are #1 priority?

    You're right. As a man, I can become a father much later. However, it's not the same with my same-aged wife. :)

    I've heard that it's better having kids when you're young because all the stress and work gets a lot harder when you're older. What do you think about that?

    I am happy now. I just don't want to regret my decision in the future.
     
    Dataster, May 12, 2017 IP
  11. jrbiz

    jrbiz Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    3,694
    Likes Received:
    1,438
    Best Answers:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    420
    #11
    Well, I think that it is a little of both, in terms of my own worries. But they are also not inextricable. For example, I may be worrying about my income, but it will be more about providing for my family than myself. I think that kids put a strong perspective and focus on worries that matter to the whole family versus just myself.

    LOL, I had my second kid when I was 47. He is now 15 and I am 62. Pretty late in life, no? When people ask about it, I simply say that having a kid this late will either kill me or make me stronger...and either option is okay. :) Fortunately, I am very young-looking and pretty energetic, etc. Most people think that I am 10-15 years younger than I am and that helps my son in terms of the appearance of his dad.[/QUOTE]
     
    jrbiz, May 13, 2017 IP
  12. qwikad.com

    qwikad.com Prominent Member Affiliate Manager

    Messages:
    5,083
    Likes Received:
    946
    Best Answers:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    350
    #12
    I wouldn't know. Like I said I had my baby girl when I was 43. But I'd say it's the opposite. Young people tend to get stressed out over nothing, whereas the older you get the less concerned about the little things you become.

    WTF? I always thought you were 54 or something.
     
    qwikad.com, May 13, 2017 IP
    jrbiz likes this.
  13. jrbiz

    jrbiz Illustrious Member

    Messages:
    3,694
    Likes Received:
    1,438
    Best Answers:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    420
    #13
    LOL, I get that a lot, thankfully, for my son's sake. It also helps in business/career issues. :)
     
    jrbiz, May 13, 2017 IP
  14. digbadsit

    digbadsit Member

    Messages:
    67
    Likes Received:
    3
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    28
    #14
    I'm only 18 years old, and I'm already thinking about children and about marriage. I guess I grew old early ..
     
    digbadsit, May 15, 2017 IP
    qwikad.com likes this.
  15. Jetfire

    Jetfire Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    449
    Likes Received:
    6
    Best Answers:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    130
    #15
    I'm over 30, no kids and happy
     
    Jetfire, May 31, 2017 IP