This guy has been raped by an Elephant and rushes to a Doctor. The Doctor asks him to bend over so he can examine his Rear. After the examination the doctor says," man your Anus is 12 inches wide, how come. I was given to understand that Elephants have Thin Long Penis's." "Yeah", says the man, "But he fingered me first."
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
When I saw the title I thought it was some kind of quirky news story. I am an idiot. I liked the second joke a lot though, lol.
Anymore? i like the more funny mature ones lol... not like some of the childish rubbish posted on here ha!! Regrds, B.
lol what a funny joke --- Girl: A mobile has stuck in my vagina and it was vibrating real hard! Doctor: Don't worry, I will remove it.. Girl: No, Just recharge the battery of the cell phone
The Sensitive Man A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.. They get back to his place, And as he shows her around his apartment, She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, With hundreds and hundreds of cute, Cuddly teddy bears carefully placed In rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them, And she was immediately touched By the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, Medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, And huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy To have such a large collection of Teddy Bears, She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, But doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and,After awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future Father of my children?' She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips.He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, And he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom Where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, More creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, They are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, 'Well, how was it?' The guy gently smiles at her, Strokes her cheek, Looks deeply into her eyes, and says: 'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'