My wife and i let my best friend stay with us for a while. Right now he is not currently working and every other day he is always asking me for $2 here and $2 there, so he can go to the store and get beer or something to eat. Majority of the time he uses it for beer. Last week he was hired to work for UPS loading boxes on to trucks,but his excuse was that was to much labor for only making $8.50 an hour so he didnt accept the job. We charge him $200 a month for the room he is stayiing in. He gets these unemployment checks once a month,so thats how he is able to pay rent,even though he is always way late. He will get a check and spend the entire check within 3 to 4 days and end up with no money sometimes for 2 weeks straight until he gets paid again. During that time,i will help him out with food. What would you guys do in this situation? we have been best friends for 20 years
Too much work? You tell him it is too much work for you to take care of him. He's got a great deal hanging out with your wife and you and collecting checks why should he put an end to it? And if he's that irresponsible I wouldn't want him in my house with my wife. It's up to you unfortunately.
id say look mate, ive helped you as much as i can but i or my family cannot afford to keep you for the entire month whilst you piss all your money into the urinal, we are giving you a room cheap, but you gotta stop asking to borrow money as i would honestly rather spend that money on my kids and family. Be kind but firm. good luck
His mother passed away 2 years ago,so i think im a little to nice with him at times when i should be a little more firm like you said above.
Sounds like he's found a nice little comfort zone for himself. That's a dangerous place to be unless you actually want him living with you for the rest of your lives. Something has definately got to change. He needs to get his act together and get a job or some other form of income so he can get his own place. That's just my two cents worth.
if he has been your friend for 20 years he will know when your joking and when you are not. Tell him straight that he needs to pull his socks up or else he is out. Your helping him out as much as you can and he is not pulling his weight. If he was such a friend he wouldn't do this to you.
Sounds like he's palying the old sympathy card. 2 years ago? What the heck does that have to do with it? He's not an orphan for Gods sake, hes old enough to work and drink beer isn't he. When most peoples mothers pass away they take the day of the funeral, grieve (or not) appropriately and move on! They may miss a day or two of work for funerals etc but 2 years? cmon the dudes playin ya. (whether he knows it or not) The reason I tell ya this is I am nice guy like you and I attract the leeches like a magnet! I tend to attract the female variety but ya know what? thats my fault and i'm learnin to say no. F**** no! if thats the language they understand! Good luck.
It sounds like you have a kind heart he will more than likely stay the same untill you put your foot down .
You need to put your foot down. Reading your thread reminds me of myself. I have a big heart to, but I also have a bad temper once I'm being used, so in your case, you have to avoid letting people walk over you. Make it real simple: sit him down and tell him, in a nice way, that he needs to move out in a certain period of time. Its that simple. If that causes your friendship to end, then its okay, because if he was your true friend, he would understand that you have your own life.
You've been nice to him, so telling him that he needs to find a job and move out soon is understandable. If he's a real friend he'll accept that and move on.
If you keep giving him the money he is going to keep on asking. Ask him what he wants it for and if he says food tell to make something. If he wants it for beer tell him NO he will soon get the point.
Since he is paying you rent you could still let him stay, but asking for money even if its 2 bucks then you should say know to force him to find work.
If you keep doing this, he'll never learn. For now he wouldn't worry about anything, he has you to keep him alive and he will continue to live like that. He is your friend but you're not helping him by doing this. You have to make him realize, he has to be responsible for himself.