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Proofread My Letter About Hiring A Fitness Coach

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by Lerrell Copy, Jul 1, 2017.

  1. #1
    The quick and easy way to reach your fitness goals

    Why do so many people look to have a fitness coach?

    Well this answer is simple. A fitness coach is much like a mentor, they safely guide you to reach your goals. Versus someone fresh into the gym that will make any mistake that will then need to be fixed later on. Look at a fitness coach as your guiding angel.

    I’m going to show you two different scenarios. Scenario #1: You decided that you want to be more healthy, fit, and attractive. With that being in mind you go online to look for the best fitness coach that your money can buy, or you go to your local gym and search there instead. You find an awesome coach and get started on your journey, you don’t have to stress about hours of research because it becomes optional. This saves you time that could be spent on other activities. And coaches provides a safety net so that you can’t make any mistake, this saves time and effort in the future. As a plus, your coach often turns into a friend and who doesn’t want more friends?

    Scenario #2: We are going to call this the blind person scenario. You decided that you want to be more healthy, fit, and attractive. Great! So you take immediate action and go to your local gym where you sit with a representative and get your membership at an awesome gym. On your first day, you walk in, sign in, and proceed to walk towards the weights. You feel out of place, anxiety starts to rise, therefore you do the only thing you may know how to do which is run on a treadmill. You go home and engage with tons of research of every different machine in the gym. You watch hundreds of youtube videos for how to use the machine and proper form. Next training day you walk in, get on a machine, and realize watching someone do this exercise is much different from actually DOING the exercise. You spend weeks or months trying to get the right form, while simultaneously asking everyone in the gym for help.

    Even intermediate lifters, bodybuilders, and fitness people know that a fitness coach is an advantage if you are willing to spend the money. It saves you more time and thinking power.

    But coaches and mentors aren’t for everyone. Some of us just want to go through the struggles regardless of the positive advantages of having a safety net. Just so that they can pull the “I started from the bottom” speech. But there’s no difference between someone with a coach and someone without a coach. The person with the coach is just going to succeed easier and quicker.

    If you want that quick and easy way to reach your fitness goals, X is a great person to get you there. He has coached 245 people, whether it’s to prepare for a competition, getting lean, bulking, getting stronger, getting healthier, or losing weight. Some of his great accomplishments were:
    SEMrush
    · Coaching a beginner into becoming #1 in a very popular competition in under two years.

    · Brining a client from 278 pounds down to 200 pounds in 4 months and 15 days.

    · Providing an intermediate bodybuilder with so much value that he becomrd successful fitness coach himself.

    Make X your fitness coach by:

    · Loading his website

    · Clicking on “Hire me as your coach”

    · Inputting your email and choosing a payment method

    · Wait for him to email you which should take no longer than 1 hour.

    Do NOT do these steps unless you are serious about making gains.


    Any advice, no matter from who would really help, thanks.
     
    Lerrell Copy, Jul 1, 2017 IP
    SEMrush
  2. Spoiltdiva

    Spoiltdiva Prominent Member

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    #2
    Your article either sinks or swims on the first 2 or 3 lines. If the reader likes what he/she sees at the outset you're in, if not you're out.

    I very much liked the "coach as your guiding angel" line, very good. But the "Why do so many people look to have a fitness coach?" appears written by someone who does not use English at home when speaking. It just doesn't come off as normal conversational English. That in itself would have prevented me from reading further.
    Instead try going with something like " Why do so many people hire a fitness coach?" Leave out the "look to"...it's not something I normally hear.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2017
    Spoiltdiva, Jul 2, 2017 IP
  3. Lerrell Copy

    Lerrell Copy Peon

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    #3
    Really good advice! Talk like you're in a normal conversation in your house. I like it thanks man.
     
    Lerrell Copy, Jul 2, 2017 IP
  4. robowarrior

    robowarrior Active Member

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    #4
    I see that you are struggling a little with your sentence formation. I can literally see that you are WRITING, not explaining the concept through your writing. Then there are spelling mistakes. I have been writing for 10 years now. I always... always... ensure that I spell check before I post my writeup or send it across to somebody else, saves a lot of embarrassment.
     
    robowarrior, Nov 12, 2017 IP
  5. globalbiz24

    globalbiz24 Peon

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    #5
    Brief version.

    • Do you invest daily in your health and attractive physique?
    • Are you eyes often glued to a floor as you meet members of opposite sex? Do you buy clothes 1 or 2 sizes bigger? Do you avoid public beaches?
    • Are you ready to see your tight abs in the mirror? Are you willing to see the girls smiles as you walk by? Do you wish to hit the beach and have fun?
    • Is this possible to archive in a short period of time, working smart, with a guidance of a guy who have transformed himself and many people in your situation?

    What do you think?

    Yes - is the answer! Yes to your fit and healthy body! Welcome to the family!

    -- It can be much better --
     
    globalbiz24, Nov 13, 2017 IP