Please review this ad

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by visman, Apr 29, 2011.

0
  1. #1
    Does it have any grammar mistakes?

    No One Believed That
    Weight Loss is Easy
    Until I Got 1000+ Positive Emails
    in Just 1 Month After a Program Launch.
     
    visman, Apr 29, 2011 IP
  2. MagicMonkey

    MagicMonkey Member

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    #2
    Er - technically there aren't many mistakes - except some is/was confusion which is not horrendous. However the actual advert is bloody awful chap and will convert about as well as a dead priest
     
    MagicMonkey, Apr 29, 2011 IP
  3. contentboss

    contentboss Peon

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    #3
    Weight Loss Is Fast And Easy.
    Come And See The Proof Now.
    1000+ Happy Customers This Month.

    will convert about as well as a dead Rabbi
     
    contentboss, Apr 29, 2011 IP
  4. etali

    etali Well-Known Member

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    #4
    I agree, you'd be better off changing the ad so that it promises some results - you're saying weight loss is easy, but why not say "You can lose 10lb in X time", or "Get a flat tummy by summer!" - something more concrete that will really appeal to people.
     
    etali, Apr 29, 2011 IP
  5. 1812

    1812 Active Member

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    #5
    Yeah nothing catchy here at all... very droll...
     
    1812, Apr 29, 2011 IP
  6. Thales

    Thales Peon

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    #6
    They said it was a lie.
    They said weight loss programs are nothing but scams.
    Tell that to the over 1,000 {thank you notes|positive reviews} we {have} received – barely a month after we launched the program!

    Studies have shown that 'Lie' and 'Scam' captures a reader's attention only slightly less than 'STOP'.

    Will convert as well as a Mormon bishop on life-support.
     
    Thales, Apr 30, 2011 IP