I just did an ad spec of a direct mail campaign for a tax consultancy. The original was done some years back. I've made some changes to bring in line with the times. Please review below thanx. Dear,,,,,, The IRS is coming down hard down on tax cheats. To make life more difficult, They've been given an $133 million shot in the arm by the Obama Administration to help them go on the offensive. Even if you think you have all the zeroes in the right columns you're still answerable to Uncle Sam if anything goes amiss. And get this: Even if you get all the t's and i's right the tax hounds will still come after you if they smell a rat. You don't to be the rat this time around do you?? Consider these few facts of audit life. A simple audit can take up to 10 hrs. And with most accountants charging between $100 and $500 per hour, you could end up splurging between $1000 and $5000....just for 10 hours of work. Add another 15, 20 or 30 hrs and you could be looking a t a humongous $15,000 dollar bill. Too much money to give away I'd say! So If you're worried that a date with the IRS audit team will clean out your budget why not try NCP's Tax Audit Protection Plan? Not only do you get a whole year of tax protection for both business and personal returns, but you have access to a competent tax professional...all in the same year. Our normal charge is $595 for business protection and $395 for personal protection. But for you we'll make an exception. For a limited period, you''ll only pay $495 dollars for both business and personal protection. Doesn't get any better than this! I'm sure you probably thinking "This smells like Insurance". Well,It is Insurance, but look at it this way. In buying NCP's Tax audit Protection Plan, you're also buying protection from the IRS, we both know how crazy the IRS can get when they believe you have stolen from them. If you still think that the the Tax and Audit Protection Plan is all about insurance Let us show you what you'll be missing if you don't take advantage of this special offer. Consultation with you and your tax consultant to look over your books and records and identify potentially sticky problems before the IRS steps in. Scheduling of audit appointments with the IRS Researching any sticky tax issues to help defend your case Handling all communications-both written and telephone-with the IRS Help you with mundane stuff such as error notices and changes to your tax returns Assign a tax specialist to represent you in your dealings with the IRS - You don't need to show up Sign Up today and you 'll get a free copy of our Quarterly tax newsletter, written in simple plain language you can understand..The newsletter will: give you tips on saving more income for yourself Keep you informed on the latest tax laws Keeps you informed on changes in IRS rules and regulations. Oh and Another thing For signing up for Audit's Protection Plan, you get our Accuracy Guarantee where we compensate you for attracting penalties from the IRS for acting on wrong advice we may have given you. Just call us at 888-627-7007 and take advantage of our limited offer of protection from an IRS audit and a year of uninterrupted tax advice. P.S The $495 covers both your business and personal... and we'll take care of your audit....You can count on that! PPS.. HURRY! THIS OFFER WONT LAST LONG! Call 1-888-627-7007 today avoid to avoid being hit by the IRS!
Before you even consider turning this into a sales letter, you need to be aware of your grammar. Grammatical mistakes will turn anyone off instantly because their instant reaction is: "How can I trust the intelligence of someone who can't even construct a proper sentence?" Other than that, not bad Josiah
Grammar and proofreading... There are some very obvious errors here, such as missing words. "You don't to be the rat this time around do you??" I also noticed a lot of issues with missing commas, a instead of an (and vice versa), etc. This definitely needs more proofing before being reviewed for content. I'm a technical editor, so I'd throw the letter away when I saw the first misspelling or missing word.
I agree with all of the above, however, buy the following book - it's available on www.amazon.com (that's where I bought my copy) - Begin by purchasing the following book - “The Queen’s English And How To Use It†by ©Bernard C. Lamb (ISBN 978-1-84317-482-0), published by Michael O’Mara Books Limited, 2010. What is good English, and why do we need it? The Queen’s English shows how language, used properly, has enormous power to inform and inspire. Used incorrectly, however, it has the same power to baffle and bemuse. This book wears its learning lightly, reminding readers how to use the basics of grammar, punctuation and spelling. It also teaches them new tips and tricks of style, vocabulary and the use of foreign phrases, to give their writing and speech an impressive flair. Using hilarious (if unintentionally so) examples from people who really ought to know better, it shows where bad English leads us astray, especially in terms of meaning, precision and clarity. Authoritative but accessible, here is a book for anyone who has any feeling whatsoever for clear, stylish and accurate communication. You will find it invaluable for both copywriting and proof reading, and you'll learn, in time, how to communicate in English - but there will be some words which are spelled differently over in the US of A, so make allowances.