Thank you for all your great advice, I think I come up with something much better now, it's not yet online but it will be tomorrow. But just to clarify, I am not a content writer and i am not trying to present my self as such, and for you guys talking about Alexa ranking, keywords etc. This is a new website and honestly I don't have expectations about getting any good Alexa ranking. At the time when I wrote my page it seemed good. But honestly it's hard to know what is good when you don't have experience right? That's why i appreciate all the comments. I got your pointers and my new presentation will be YOU YOU YOU and what is the service about. I know my new page will not be perfect so I would appreciate some more comments to my new introduction, that will be online tomorrow! Brian
Howdy Brian! I'm glad to see that someone is willing to listen to advice. If you do this, you're already on a good path. Waiting for sales copy version 2.0 Regards, George
Perry, a gentle word of advice... Posting that you are 'too drunk' to go over someone elses page yet 'you noticed just one thing' is in itself an indication of how drunk you must have been - to not notice that the sentence you wrote there, is in itself a contradiction in terms. You are of course in no position to advise others, whilst in such an unstable state of mind. No-one including yourself is in a position to offer sound business advice, whilst being 'too drunk' to do anything. If you wish to impart sound business advice, please post sober. I've noticed your extremely abrupt replies to others here, so hopefully you'll take this well on the chin. @Brian I'm looking forward to seeing the new version - keep up the good work! Best, Mark Andrews...
Okay it reads a lot better but... Put your 4 Star at the top followed by the 3 Star underneath, followed by the 2 Star and 1 Star. Obviously you want more quality articles delivered at your best rate, not the other way around. Also starting it off at the 1 Star rate can give off a poor impression from the start, when it is the best impression you are striving to give out from the very beginning. Now, top of the page is very 'busy'. Too many seperate boxes with text in them. Try to minimize the number of separate 'word boxes' and get as much of the main thrust (of your key points / your lead generating machine) into just one box, not many. You want the site to be more joined together not separated out like that. Let me know you are done and I'll look over it again for you. Post below when finished. Btw... good on you for writing much more powerfully getting rid of the 'I this, I that' previous syndrome going on. Including the 'you' as you have done so now, is a lot more compelling. I do think you still need to discover your real USP, at the moment this is clearly unidentified. Trying to compete via your price point alone, is no way to garner further business. Best, Mark Andrews...
Put the registration form on your homepage. Don't make them have to click to get to it. Heat them up for the sale, and then tell them to start filling out the form right now. ... And it will be right there in front of them, ready for them to fill out. Offer free tips on your homepage to show that you know what you are talking about. Give them even more free stuff if they fill out the form. Like, for example, how to get even more traffic with articles. I'm not much for testimonials, but, hell, think about putting just a couple of them above the form anyway. See if you can get a thread going, and get customers that way. Then, when they post back with positive comments, use that on your site. Put in a link going to that thread. Also, think about putting in a few classy pictures. It adds to a sales page. Replace the "star" text with actual stars. And, uh, where are your example articles to look at? And thank you for not using ridiculously-loud red text found in so many cheap-looking sites! As a professional copywriter, that shit really burns my nut hairs.
Hello Brian! Lots of good advice in both Mark's and Perry's replies. It will save me some work. I will try to focus on the USP and how you can position yourself as a leader First off you employ editors. That's clearly a competitive edge and you should make it more prominent. Second, all of your writers begin at the one star level and have to prove their way up. Third, before they even begin to write a single article, all of your writers must pass a comprehensive test. Basically, you can establish your company as truly professional, compared to the amateurs plaguing this site (I assume that your marketing strategy focuses on DP). Work with this list and you'll find your USP. Hope this helps. Best regards, George Cozma (because bold looks cooler)