Hi everyone, This is the first time I'm starting a thread in this section. I'd like to request you guys to take a look at my squidoo page/blog and rate my English writing skills. FYI, I'm not a native speaker. Please check out my Squidoo page here. I've just added one module. Please read it and give me your feedback. I respect this section more than any other section in this forum, as this section is filled only with pros who speak their mind. So, here's my Squidoo page. Also, if you'd like to take a look at my blog and tell me a word or two about it, I'd be more than happy. I look forward to your opinions. Thanks very much.
Thanks mate. I really appreciate your feedback. Guys, I'd like a few more people to give their feedback. Could you please spare a minute or two? Thanks very much in advance.
I can tell you're not a native US writer, but overall you handle the language very well. You use some words in a way that isn't very common in the US: "why am I talking about mobile phone" should be "mobile phones"; "advertising in your mobile phone" would probably be "on your mobile phone." These issues are very minor, but do give an impression that the writer is working in a second language. That said, I think you have a fantastic command of English and generally write better than many natives. You have a great conversational style, and your ideas are expressed clearly. Some of your word choices strike me as odd, but rarely incorrect. I get the impression that British rather than American English is being employed, which is not at all a bad thing.
Thanks mate. Point taken. It'd be really helpful if you could point out the words that you found odd in the article. Thanks for your time.
"Valid question - I tell you": the use of present tense here is logical, and therefore a common error among non-natives. The future tense is preferred here, as you aren't telling us "now"-you're going to tell us in the next few paragraphs. So, "I'll tell you" is how natives would say it. Other minor issues are using "in" where "on" would be more common, and "run-on" sentences. Long sentences and paragraphs are hard to follow, so use the comma where appropriate, and consider breaking some sentences up. This doesn't exactly tag your writing as foreign, but your point can get lost.
I read your article on mobile phone advertising. Overall, this was a really good article: fluent and concise, as well as humorous and to the point. I liked the way you addressed the reader quite a bit ("let's say you are a fan of Eminem. Who isn't?"). I only have a couple of gripes, and these were mostly with the way you seemed to over-use hyphens. A lot of the time when you have used a hyphen, it wasn't actually needed, and you could have removed it all together or replaced it with the faithful comma. Having lots of hyphens makes text difficult to read because sentences and paragraphs become too fragmented, so you may want to consider how much you really need to use them. One major problem, however, is with the sentence below: It makes very little sense. There should be, at the very least, a 'the' before 'mobile phone', and I'm not really sure why you've inserted a hyphen into the sentence. It would read fine like this: "The difference is the mobile phone is a very, very personal thing for almost all of us" but would read even better like this: "The difference is that the mobile phone is a very personal thing for almost all of us". Hope this helped a little!
Yeah; a couple of other guys have also pointed out to my excessive hyphen usage. I need to work on that. Thanks for your time.
From what I've read on your blog it looks like your English writing skills are good. You have a great vocabulary but I also noticed excessive hyphen usage.. lol Great writing though.
What's your natural language? You English seems to weak in grammatic constructions...while vocabulary looks not bad...
The first thing I noticed was that you used `alright', which isn't grammatically correct, instead of the grammatically correct `all right.' At school (in England) I was taught to use all right, and still use it rather than alright. I've just typed in my search bar the phrase `all right or alright?' and apparently it's the only acceptable way of expressing this in American English, as well as in British English.
Thanks. Point taken. Uhmm; could you be more specific? Thanks. Point taken. Will use 'all right' from now. Thanks. Any other suggestions/criticisms? I'd love to hear different opinions. Thanks very much for your time guys.
This one was a little confusing for me. I think a better way to write it would have been: If you can get an ad on your mobile phone in which you are offered a coupon which gives you a 20% discount on Eminem's latest album, would you say no to that? Just my 2 cents tho Overall I think you do a very good job handling the English language.
Quality of English is average. Squidoo page - your first line, Alright; let me come to the point straight away. let me get straight to the point I didn't bother reading any further. Your Blog article about - Mobile News Network from the Associated Press - is either a press release or you stole the content from slashphone.com http://www.slashphone.com/associated-press-creates-mobile-news-network-for-iphone-05391
The English is OK, like a few have pointed above, there are some wording issues. But I would be more worried about Seymour's comment than the English, if true.
Hi there, Nope; the content was not stolen from slashphone.com or any other site for that matter. I just happened to read this news from Google news and I wrote my own version of the story. If it looks like it's stolen from some other site, it's a coincidence. It was not intentional at all. I've never copied anything from other sites and will never do so. However, to avoid further confusions, I've tweaked my blogpost a little to make it look a little different. I'll be more careful while reporting such events in future. Last but certainly not least, I'd like to thank you sincerely for your honest opinion. Thanks for your time. I really appreciate it.
I might not have picked up on the fact that non-US writer if you hadn't said it. This sentence "Just like you advertise on TV, newspapers, magazines, radio, and the internet, you can advertise on mobile phones." changes the context of the article and made me question if your audience was cell phone users or mobile advertisers. You're speaking to cell phone users who wouldn't be advertising on TV, etc., so you might say "Just like there are advertisements on TV...there are advertisements on..." You used the word "which" a lot. I know you might be considering SEO, but most people I know say "cell phone" rather than "mobile phone." If you want to keep it more conversational, I suggest using cell phone in there are few times. Twice you used "first" as if you were introducing a list, but I didn't see a followup "second" or "next" in either case. Replace the hypen with a comma, the question should be in double quotes, and "even" should be capitalized. The writing could stand to be simplified. There are a lot of extra words that makes it take too long to read. If I wasn't reading to give feedback, I would have clicked away after the first few paragraphs.