Please help

My website doesn't sell enough

I think I did some copywriting mistakes...
What would you change?

Thank in Advance,
Richard.

(link is in the signature)

 

The first rule to be succesful is promote, promote and promote.

If you have promoted enought and not getting results, then we most go to analyze in depth.

I have seen deplorable websites, worst than made for newbies, that sell like crazy due to adequate promotion.

 

What it has to do with copywriting?

 

I believe RichardRosse is unsure of being expressing the concept or purpose of his business appropriately

 

Richard:

They say the top part of your Web site is considered "prime real estate". It's the space where you absolutely have to grab the attention of the visitor. In my opinion, your site doesn't utilize that space well.

Your headline is simply "Website Template". Those words alone not only tell me nothing about your product, but they're not enough to either pique my curiousity (so I will scroll down and read more) nor convince me this is a product that I would want.

A basic, general suggestion would be include a question at the top--something like, "Have you been searching for a way to make PayPal transactions easier and effortless for both you and your customers? Well, now you've found one." Give some sort of insight into what you are offering.

The rest of the page is fine. You just need to make a better sales pitch at the top.

 

Thanks for the replays guys,

The product I sell Is kind of hard to describe in a simple manner, because it's a bit complicated... I'm asking for your help to advise me on how to revise the selling page that it will make more sense to the visitor.

Moreover, promotion is good, but website templates are getting a lot of competition, I know my template is unique because of it's added value (passive income solution). How would you promote it? where?

Thanks again!

 

You are right. Promotion asides, there is some issue with the copywriting of the content. At first glance I do not know what the site is trying to sell.

1. The landing page says Website Template, but it isn't selling template (i.e. monstertemplate.com). Even if it is, the page lacks the necessary visual to showcase its graphics design strength (screenshots, graphics etc)

2. There is no example of how the page is applicable to us. The demo is the page of itself, which is confusing.

Even if you promote very hard on the site, the conversion rate may be very low due to the poor landing page.

Some suggestions
- reword heading title, like "Develop a Marketing Page That Sells..." You probably have to engage marketing copywriter to help you on this.

- include more VISUAL examples (screenshot and actual pop up) Do some samples on "Marketing Your adsense e-books", "How to Turn Visitor into Revenue".... blah blah blah...

Again, you are targetting the niche of people who wants to sell something and not someone who wants to buy website template. Make the distinction and you should be able to improve landing page accordingly.

 

Additionally, I would consider making some adjustments to your template also

 

Exactly. Your website doesn't have to be fancy. In fact, a simple layout typically works best.

If I could change one thing about your site, it would be to get rid of "Website Template" and change it to something that made the customer know he needed your service.

Silly examples just to illustrate my point:

"Your Website Will Come Alive With Our Unique Template Design"

or

"Websites Using Our Templates Enjoy 50% More Sales"

I could think of much better if I was actually writing for one of my own sites, but you should get the gist. Tell your customer in the most direct way why he/she NEEDS your service RIGHT NOW. Make sure it is direct and to the point without being hokey. You have only seconds to snag 'em.

Good luck!

 

I would remove the bright font and use a more professional color - also the font size literally cancels out a ton of people with poor eyesite.

Also you could use to use alot more "read mores" and be more structured on the site... take the visitor by the hand and lead them with words.

If there is nothing to GRAB their interest they will be outta there in a flash!!

Your site failed in letting me know what it was about in the crucial few moments that you have to GRAB the reader and convince them to read on.!!!

Hope it helped

 

Wow!
Thanks, I have a lot to do now

I'll change the text and especially the title, and If i'll have another question than I'll open another thread.

 

I changed the website text and colors.
What do you think?

 

I suggest that you change what the product will do for you in short and sweet descriptions. Maybe use bullets to point out all the benefits its going to give them and move the technical stuff down lower in a cell of its own

 

can you give me some examples please on how to do that?
Because I have already some benefits described later in the page...

 

Here are a few of my suggestions for the copywriting improvements to sell your product.

The header of your site is too blank and empty. The website looks professional, but you can add some words in the header which will immediately catch the attention of the person landing. Words like:
Completely automate your online transactions with paypal IPN template! 100% secure and hacker proof!

Note: this is not your heading. The top heading says:
Finally, you can sleep while this paypal IPN template automatically processes your online orders with 100% security!

Next rule, do not provide links on top. It distracts. My eye popped out on "forums" link. Am still trying to put it back in...
Place them either on right side, or in footer.

I think your entire sales letter is totally focused on you and your template. You don't even care what problems sellers have. If you don't know, do some research. If you know, use them to highlight your key benefits.
Security, vacations, rest...
Look at the heading mentioned above.

You were too focused on Search engine optimization when you were writing this letter and were somewhere in the middle. Drop it.

Your bullet list looks like is added only for the sake that sales letters must have them. Bullet list get noticed, don't waste them like this...

• Hit the hardest here. You just mentioned some features, not even benefits...
• Cash it in right here!
• Open their wallets and pull the green out this very moment. It's not gonna come again...

Your closing, or where you ask for an order, must be like Rocky's knockout punch! You didn't even ask them to take an action...
Why did you mention legal stuff there? And it's OK if you did, but then immediately get back and target on either benefits, or (I'm not telling this...)

What is this line?
"We had put up a lot of effort in the making of this template, and making it easy to configure for almost everyone."

Who is "almost"? I don't know him...
You can say:

"Hours of work has been invested in this template so you can configure it yourself, without any programming background even! Just 1 simple file to modify and you are ready to take orders!"
(Really? That easy?)

I assume that if you have a forum, you are willing to provide 24x7 support. Didn't see a mention...

Sorry for being harsh, but try these changes. Specially the heading, bullet list and header.
Bye

 

All in all it reads pretty well to me. Looks straight forward and simple. I like it.

 

in my opinion you have to create the need fill it and then explain how you will do it ... and then ask for the sale.. simple but works

 

After reading everything, I never found any compelling reason for ME to want to use this system on my site.

How does it work? Why is it better and easier for a user to buy your product and not just use paypal?

 

Thanks guys for these amazing posts!
Please check out the fixed version and tell me if it pass the test?

http://www.singlepagemarketing.com/

Thanks,
Richard.

 

Much better. But you can still tweak it substantially. Take a look at other sales pages and determine what you think works/doesnt work about them.