Please help with my sales letter

Discussion in 'General Marketing' started by Stu--, Jun 29, 2010.

  1. #1
    I've had this sales letter for a couple of years and it's not performed very well. I'm looking for some advice from people who have experience with this kind of thing.

    http://poweressence.com/evolve

    I realise I need bonuses, but what else can I do to improve it?

    Also I realise that the book itself is a little broad, but I don't really have the time to break it up and specialise it at the moment, although this is something I will look into in the future.

    Any help appreciated.
     
    Stu--, Jun 29, 2010 IP
  2. gai001

    gai001 Peon

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    #2
    My opinions...the headline doesn't really pull me in...and just scanning the page, which many visitors will do does not highlight your benefits...just my 2 cents
     
    gai001, Jun 29, 2010 IP
  3. Tooschee

    Tooschee Active Member

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    #3
    Tooschee, Jun 29, 2010 IP
  4. edpatton

    edpatton Active Member

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    #4
    Yes you need to have an attention grabbing headline while also being able to keep the viewers attention.
     
    edpatton, Jun 29, 2010 IP
  5. atxsurf

    atxsurf Peon

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    #5
    it looks really nice. you can get one step further and offer first part (pdf) of the book free with a free signup.

    you could reduce the size of the text before "Still not convinced?" - move it to that 1st part of the book that is free.
    Than put "Still not convinced?" - get first part of the book free.
    at the end of that free part (pdf) put a link back to your website for ordering the rest
     
    atxsurf, Jun 29, 2010 IP