I have decided to embark on a very challenging journey and that is my first sales page for my first product. I don't have enough money to invest in a good copywriter at the moment and decided I want to do my first product all on my own, included the copy, but unfortunately I am very inexperienced in the copywriting field and beg you to put all your experienced heads together to help me to improve my sales page. Frankly, I don't have much of a clue of how good this is, but I know it needs lots of improvement. I know a 100 heads are better than one so here is my sales page: http://freetrafficvolcano.com/index.php?p=1_6 Please critique it for me, especially the general structure, the headings and the header. Thanks a lot for all the help, you guys (and girls) really are the best!
For not having many clues, you've done very well. I would suggest 2 things: 1) break down each paragraph. At the moment, a visitor's first impression is that they see a mass of words in your sales letter, which can potentially make them switch off ("I'm not reading THAT! It's too much"). Try splitting your paragraphs up - place each sentence per line if necessary. Use bullet point where you can and add some bold words to make a point. 2) add more testimonials. A couple more won't hurt. If you haven't got anymore to add, you may wish to give the package away for free to 20 or 30 people, on the proviso that they give you a testimonial once they have tried it. Good luck.