Please critique my landing page sales copy

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by WesB, Nov 9, 2007.

  1. #1
    I am very new to the whole PPC advertising world. I am using Adwords to market my financial advising services. I would be grateful for any comments that can improve the effectiveness of my landing page copy. My goal for this page is to get people to email me for a free initial consultation.

    There are some unique issues to keep in mind. Federal securities regulations prevent the use of testimonials in any form. Also, there are severe restrictions on use of performance data and any claim that may be viewed as misleading by the feds. Further, it is difficult to set up other domains for use as landing pages. All web addresses, email addresses, etc must be registered. It is a pain!

    Here is the link:http://www.planbadvising.com/planbadvising.aspx?MyMenu=home&MyPage=freeform6.asp

    Thanks in advance

    Wes
     
    WesB, Nov 9, 2007 IP
  2. anarmyofme

    anarmyofme Well-Known Member

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    #2
    In my opinion, you need to create an email form instead of "click here and add all this info." It makes it more user friendly. Also, I would place this form towards the upper middle portion of the page.
     
    anarmyofme, Nov 10, 2007 IP
  3. WesB

    WesB Peon

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    #3
    Thanks for your comments Anarmyofme. I appreciate you taking the time. What do you think of getting rid or, or at least downplaying the email link in favor of providing my telephone contact info? In my business, folks that call generally leave a little bit of info about their situation and needs along with their phone numbers. It just seems to be a natural thing to do. Do you think that providing both phone and email will increase overall response?
     
    WesB, Nov 10, 2007 IP
  4. anarmyofme

    anarmyofme Well-Known Member

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    #4
    If you have an older demographic, a phone call will typically be their first choice of contact, in my opinion.
     
    anarmyofme, Nov 10, 2007 IP
  5. experienceadvertising

    experienceadvertising Peon Affiliate Manager

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    #5
    I would add a nice photo of yourself to connect you to your services. The site definitely needs more modern look as well design wise. I think the copy is OK but somewhat over-whelming.
     
    experienceadvertising, Nov 10, 2007 IP
  6. anarmyofme

    anarmyofme Well-Known Member

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    #6
    I agree with the picture idea. It especially seems prevalent in the financial industry.
     
    anarmyofme, Nov 10, 2007 IP