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Please critique my first squeeze page

Discussion in 'Copywriting' started by copysparker, Nov 19, 2012.

  1. #1
    Hi fellow copywriters!
    SEMrush

    I'm a newbie in this forum and I've been searching for experts to critique my copy.


    Link: http://infoshopmonster.com/download/internet-marketing-enclopedia-pdf/


    I recently helped a client in setting up a squeeze page for his affiliate product. Honestly, this is one of the first squeeze pages I did and I have no idea what copywriting strategies really work in this case.


    Can you please give suggestions regarding:


    1. Design
    2. Copy


    I initially suggested that the copy should be more concise but my client insisted to make it a little longer. Now I'm confused if I went overboard or did the right thing. Please help.please wait 2 seconds for an uncompressed image, or press Ctrl+F5 for original quality page


    P.S. Constructive criticisms are always welcome.
     
    copysparker, Nov 19, 2012 IP
    SEMrush
  2. sarah_23

    sarah_23 Active Member

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    #2
    It is good but you should stop youtube auto play for video as it is making your page bit slower also you can reduce your images site to bit lesser using photoshop. content is great with few errors. thank you
     
    sarah_23, Nov 19, 2012 IP
  3. copysparker

    copysparker Peon

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    #3
    Thanks sarah_23 for your feedback

    Anyways, what do you mean by "....reduce your images site to bit lesser using photoshop"?

    Are you referring to the ebook cover or to the large text boxes below (those that contain the testimonials and calls-to-action)?

    I'm gonna ask the designer to remove the video and start proofreading the copy as well.
     
    copysparker, Nov 19, 2012 IP
  4. timbonitus

    timbonitus Active Member

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    #4
    I don't like youtube autoplay. I think the text is a bit too long.... just my opinion
     
    timbonitus, Nov 19, 2012 IP
  5. copysparker

    copysparker Peon

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    #5
    Thanks. How about the headlines? Should I remove the sub-headline to make it more concise?


    What is the ideal length of a squeeze page copy?

    I really appreciate your critique.
     
    copysparker, Nov 19, 2012 IP
  6. TextServices

    TextServices Active Member

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    #6
    The length of the text is fine. It's how these types of pages are supposed to be.

    I find the YouTube autoplay annoying, but it's a common sales tactic. I would personally use a different video because that one does nothing to encourage one to enter an email address to download the product. It distracts away from the text and what you want the person reading the page to do. If a video is used, the text and video need to work together to encourage a visitor to do what you want them to do.

    I would change this text:
    This could be? - You need to tell the visitor that this tool is exactly what they need. Show confidence in the product you want them to download.

    ... tool you have been waiting for in a very, very long time - Doesn't make sense.


    There are small corrections to be made here and there if you keep the existing text. But, I would consider reworking this piece. It's a rough draft. Something to build from.

    Basically.... You are on the right track. You are acknowledging some common problems/struggles/pitfalls people have and have experienced with internet marketing and offering a solution. It's just there is a lack of confidence in the product and that excitement. The type of wording that compels a person to keep reading and ultimately stop and fill in their email address. The urgency that they need to download this product now.
     
    TextServices, Nov 19, 2012 IP
  7. copysparker

    copysparker Peon

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    #7

    Thanks dude! I really appreciate you finding time to review my copy. I'll take note of all your suggestions and include them on my next revision. I agree that this is just a rough draft that's why I need some guide to let me know if I'm on the track or not.
     
    copysparker, Nov 19, 2012 IP