Review My target market it is UK users 25-30 years of age who earn over £500 per month. I recently revamped it with a few sales techniques, unfortunately it has had the opposite effect. People close the site down after seconds and move on. Three things I think are doing that, lack of interesting sub heading, a story that jumps in out of nowhere and the size of the scroll bar (indicating lots of text, around 2000 words). I think because the 'sales talk' does not reflect my personality (I'd much prefer to be super honest and avoid all the enticing crap at the front), I find it hard to make it authentic. The offer is good so I should be selling a lot more! Thanks for your time guys.
There are no pictures - put a few happy 20 somethings and pictures of money. Dont make it too in your face. Use the A & L logo Put everything of importance above the fold. There is far too much to read. You are making it like homework for the visitor. There is no clear call to action.. "Click this link and start saving" kind of thing.
Haha, homework! I remember creating it all and was quite proud of the 2000+ word thesis on why you should get the account, well that failed! I'll try to knock it down to around 750 words.
I can't even begin to tell you how bad I think it is. Here let me fix it for you. http://www.domado.com/test/ There ya just got a quick 15 minute fix on a few things.
Haha, there's just so much text there it's unfunny! I'm redrafting it up again today and keep on trying until I get one that starts making a return. Thanks for taking your time to play with it. I think I'll only have one quote in there next version.
I'd also cut it down or at least make it easier to skip peripheral stuff. Use anchors perhaps to jump tot the action. I'd imagine traffic would come from ads or links, not so much ranking. They see an ad or link that says 70 quid in 15 minutes. Well, I'd expect to know all I need to know within a minute to keep the proportions right. Like DA said, above the fold the visitor must be sold. All other stuff should go somewhere 'read more...'. If it's that easy to make 70 in 15 minutes, reading how to should not take 15 minutes. That would be a waste of time in comparison.
nice site design, but like the other said there is so much text on there. Visitors with an attention span like me wouldn't even bother finding out what the paragraphs are saying.
The header is kind of bland... I like the quote images but I would recommend making it have only the first quote the one on the bottom is over kill, it can be implied blogspot has this and it looks pretty nice otherwise I dont really like the site to be honest the text is just insane...and i dont like the get money quick sites
I think the copy sux. (Good on you for giving it a shot though). If your offer is genuinely good I'd pay somebody who has a proven track record for producing copy that sells.
I'll persit until it starts selling - I've always had trouble writing and expressing myself in words and if I keep on trying and studying I'll eventually get to something good (albeit I'll be loosing some money in the process) that will sell. The problem was I tried to emulate the American ebook selling sites - you know, the ones that piss you off so much because you're getting patronised! And that just isn't the audience I'm appealing to. I'll upload some more copy today at about 750 words (down to around 1000 now) and keep on tweaking that. I didn't want to take the design too far for a couple of reasons. One the site is 63kb already and it won't be great for 56k users and secondly people are there for the content and I don't want to over distract them. The funny thing is, my previous copy sold a lot more and it was much smaller and basic. I guess I didn't really fully understand my products nature. Thanks for your constructive criticisms.